Friday, October 11, 2013

"shattered by the american dream"

In the spring of 2005 D and I were well on our way to becoming debt free.  Just one year prior we found out that we were expecting our third daughter.  We were also planning an elaborate vacation to Disney World with our two young daughters, when truthfully we didn't have a dime to our name.  However, with the worldliness leading our hearts, we were foolish in thinking that it could be achieved.

Thankfully GOD had much bigger plans, and placed us in a financial education class through our church.  It was there that we really got "right" with GOD, and let go.... and let HIM lead us.  For an entire year we didn't go anywhere unless it was planned.  We only ate out once a month, and when we did it was a HUGE deal.  We got dressed up, and celebrated that GOD had allowed us to dine out for the evening.  I came to LOVE the one night a month that I was certain I didn't have to do any dishes.  As the months passed, and as each bill was marked paid-in-full D and I celebrated.  We would become giddy with excitement, as our stack of monthly bills began to shrink.  In one year alone, through HIS timing and provision we were able to pay of $22,000 in debt.  Not only were we are to pay that much off, but we did so with one income, and three little girls.  It was then that I learned to live frugally.

However, the closer D and I became to being debt free, the more worldly desires began to invade our hearts.  We began to hear that we were missing out on not being homeowners.  We were told that there were so many benefits to home ownership, and that we would qualify for a home for sure.  We now know that this was one of the biggest lies that we have ever fallen for.  This was the beginning of our family being "shattered by the american dream."

As we began the search for our "perfect" house, we were met with so much disappointment.   At the time our family was living in a 3 bedroom coach home, however, we didn't have a yard, and the neighborhood park was over run with kids.  Our girls used to have to wait in line to go down the slide.  The would have to wait in line to play on the swings.  The more we stood in line, the more our hearts desire grew for something more.  However, little did we know the journey that we were about to embark on, and how it would change the dynamic of our little family forever.

In the fall of 2005 D and I purchased what we called our "dream home."  It was everything that our hearts desired.  Our mortgage was less than our rent, and we had a HUGE yard, 1 acre to be exact.  D landed a job closer to our new home, and life well, it was really looking up.  Looking back now I can see when our eyes were taken off of HIM, and placed all on the desires to fulfill our very own version of the "american dream."

Within four months of our living out our version of the "american dream."  We were stopped dead in our tracks by something life changing happening to our two oldest daughters.  This began a whole new journey for me, as their Mama, and helping them through the darkest moments of their young precious lives.  This would prove to be one of my hardest life's lessons.  This would forever change my perspective on someone chasing their version of "american dream."

HIS Daily Teachings today is a loving reminder of just how far we have come from being shattered.  HE is wanting me to know that as long as I keep my eyes, mind, and heart focused on HIM, HE will pour HIS blessings and favor over our family.  I am convinced more and more as each day passes that I must start out every single day saying, "Teach, lead, and guide me how to live every single moment of my day LORD."
As I sit here typing my blog, I am looking around this beautiful home that GOD has blessed us with, and I am in awe.  As each day passes GOD reveals more of HIMSELF to me, in the way that HE answer's my prayers.  I love when I realize just how little of prayers HE answers.  Just small "breath" prayers of my heart's desire.  HE is wanting me to know that even though I was once "shattered by the american dream," HE has rebuilt me, restored me, renewed me, transformed me, and loved me through HIS grace and HIS mercy every single step of the way.

Just thinking about how far we have come, and how much HE has taken us through, and being rescued from the brokenness of our past, brings me to my knees.  Today my eyes are filled with tears of gratitude and thanks to my SAVIOR.  Today I am thankful that HE has rescued me, and has began a new journey full of HIS hope, HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, and HIS forgiveness.

HE is wanting me to write HIS word's down on my heart and mediate on them daily.  This morning through my youngest daughters spelling words HE is wanting me to meditate on "Steadfast."  HE has revealed to me what that very word means about HIS love for me.  Once again, I am brought to my knees, and my eyes well up with tears.  HE is wanting me to know today that as long as I keep HIM at the center of my life, I will never again be completely "shattered."  I am learning that though I may struggle, and go through hard times, NEVER again will I  have to feel so alone.

"They will have no fear of bad news;their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord." Psalm 112:7

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal gloryin Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10

I pray today that if you have been "shattered by the american dream" that you will turn to HIM, and seek HIS timing and HIS provision for your life.  I pray today for you to have the courage to say "No" to the "american dream" and YES to HIM.  I pray to today that HE will create in you a desire to seek HIM daily, and to ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single moment of your day today.


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