Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"temporary home"

Since our move just over three weeks ago, I have felt as if though I have fallen into a pit.  One of which has been filled with anger, animosity, despair, ungratefulness, pity parties, and over all negative thinking.  This pit has been a part of my life for a long time now.  There have been many seasons of my life, that this same pit has almost destroyed me.  Thankfully because of my heavenly Father's love, I know that no matter how far I may stray, HE is waiting with arms wide open for me to run straight back into them.

HIS Daily Teachings today has been a compilation of several daily teachings for the past four days.  Hence the reason I haven't blogged.  When I allow myself to fall into the pit, I close myself off from what HE is trying to teach me.  In allowing myself to fall, I lose my positive thinking, and my ability to be GOD honoring in my speech.  Those two things single handily have wreaked havoc in my daily walk for the past three weeks.  

Today HIS loving reminder that this life that I have been blessed with is just my "temporary home."  I am thankful for this reminder, as I have been so wrapped up in everything that we have lost, and not been able to see what we have gained.  We all as a family are struggling in finding our purpose in our new journey that GOD has us on.  My children are trying their best to adjust to their new schools, and I as their Mama am struggling, as their tears and sadness are heartbreaking, as we really did love our life in our previous home.  

We are now attending a mega church, and are mere audience members, and not leaders.  We don't have the friendships that we had in our previous home, and we are all struggling with not feeling like we fit in.  D has said, it is as though we are "fish out of water."  However, GOD has let me know this morning that this is all just "temporary."  Therefore I must choose to remember that, and to trust HIM completely that HE has everything worked out for my own good.

Today HIS loving reminder is comforting me through the following verses of the song "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood.  "This is my temporary home, it's not where I belong.  Windows and rooms that I'm passing through. This is just a stop on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know. This is my temporary home."

This past Sunday Pastor Bill Hybels asked the question, "are you satisfied?  With your job, house, car, friends, the money you make?  Are you satisfied with your life?"  That very question spoke volumes to me that I was able to answer yes to all but one area, and that was that this is all just "temporary" that though I may feel lost right now, HIS plans for my future are greater than I could possibly imagine.  I am thankful that HE has let me know that no matter how far I may stray, its never so far that I am not within HIS reach.

This morning GOD has asked me to get real with what the condition of my heart really is.  I can honestly say that my heart is feeling overwhelmed.  I know that I have strayed from the path that HE has chosen for me, and partly because of laziness on my part.  Life has gotten too hard in some areas, therefore rather than working through the tough areas, I have run away.  I know that I have strayed because I am not sure what my purpose is in our newest adventure.  I feel lost because I am now attending a mega church and not serving, all because I am overwhelmed. 

My heart is very heavy right now as I feel lost for my children.  Though each of them are doing their best to adjust to their new schools, things have been very tough for them as well.  This move has been very hard on them, as they have left all of their friends, and the church where they first really felt close to the LORD.  Leaving our church for all of us, has made us feel unsure, and unsteady.

There was a day last week, where I fell apart, and cried out, "why did everything change?"  I know that HE heard me, and it was then that HE began to teach me about my "temporary home," however, in my stuborness, I wasn't having any of it.  No, in true Heather fashion, I ran, and hid and tried to bury myself in unpacking and making our house a home. 

In my current read this morning I was reminded of just how detrimental it is to allow Satan's lies into my life through these words, "when we worry we have pity parties where the guests of honor are negative thinking, and resignation."

GOD is letting me know that I am guilty of allowing all of these things to happen to me.  HE is letting me know that this is NOT part of HIS plan for my life.  HE is letting me know that rather than choosing to lie awake at night and ponder Satan's lies, I must choose to worship HIM and trust that HE has everything worked out for my own good.

In choosing to worship HIM despite how I feel, I am saying, "Lord Jesus this is NOT about me, and is all about you."  HE is telling me that I must get my focus off of myself and back onto HIM.  I know that until I do I will continue to struggle through my daily walk.

It has been through my journey that I have learned that HIS Daily Teachings has become a vital part of my journey towards wholeness.  Therefore, I must seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my day.

"GOD can use empty places in your life to draw your heart to HIM."  Today HE has let me know that HE knows I feel empty, and HE is wanting me to run straight into HIS arms, and let go.... and let HIM take over in navigating my life.  I must realize that this is just my "temporary home," and not get so wrapped up in my incessant "need" to be comfortable.

HE has let me know that it is in the times that I feel empty when I seek HIM HE can, will, and does reveal HIMSELF to me that HE is the one who knows and loves me best.  HE is letting me know that HE will never let me down, and will continue HIS good works in me.

HE is wanting me to view my life as my "temporary home."  Therefore, I must get the focus off of myself, and onto HIM.  HE is teaching me that all of this is not for nothing, but is however, all for HIS plan, and HIS purpose for my life.  HE is wanting me to know that even though I may not understand the "why's" of HIS plan, I must choose to trust HIM as HE has proven HIMSELF time and again to me through my journey.  

"Realizing that this life is temporary helps me to live beyond this moment, and rejoice it as a call to draw near to the Lord."

Today I will sing songs of praise and worship HIM, and I will meditate on HIS truth, and I will seek HIM throughout every single moment of my day.  I will smile as HIS loving reminders are everywhere in my life.  Today when I feel alone, I will sing one of the many songs that bring me great comfort such as "Draw Me Close to You."  I am thankful that GOD has exposed me to these songs, as they are also a vital part of my journey towards wholeness.

"Draw me close to You. Never let me go. I lay it all down again. To hear You say that I'm Your friend. You are my desire. And no one else will do. 'Cause nothing else can take Your place. To feel the warmth of Your embrace.  Help me find a way.  Bring me back to You. Bring me back, oh Jesus"

Today I am thankful for the empty places in me, as they are HIS loving reminder that I need HIM daily, and that HE is the only one who can truly fulfill my needs.  

"In my worship of HIM, my soul is safe and comforted and reassured, and at peace."

I pray today that you will know that the life you are living is really just your "temporary home."  I pray today that you will seek HIM, and HE will show you where your true home really is.  I pray for HIS presence, and peace to be upon you as you go through your journey towards wholeness.  I pray today that you too will be comforted by HIS truth, and HIS love about what HIS plan and purpose are for your life.  I pray today that even though you may feel discontented about the circumstances of your life that you will know that it is all temporary.


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