That night D and I talked about what his taking the job would look like for our family. We talked about how quickly this would mean that we would have to find a house, and give notice to our current landlord. The biggest topic of discussion was how we were going to break the news to our children. This in itself proved to be the most challenging part of our preparation.
We sat the children down for a family meeting, and were immediately met with questions, and pure defiance. Something along the lines of our oldest daughter leading with, "what?!? My whole life is here, my church, my friends, my school! You are ruining my life! I am NOT living with you I am moving in with my friend!" This was to be followed by our second oldest daughter saying, "I am NOT living with you, I am moving in with my friend!" Lastly our youngest daughter spoke with her hands on her hips stating very matter of fact, "I am NOT living with you, I do NOT know where I am going, but I am NOT going with you!"
I remember looking at D, and prayed, "oh dear LORD JESUS, please, oh please, change the hearts and minds of these three girls." The meeting ended that night with tears, hugs, and lots of more tears. I could tell D was having a really hard time being excited anymore about this amazing career opportunity that he had just been blessed with. I knew that this was going to be one of our toughest challenges yet as a family.
This past months preparation has been a HUGE part of "the climb" of my spiritual journey. When I asked GOD to take me to new heights in my faith, I never realized just what "the climb" would have me endure. For the first few weeks finding a house for our family to call home would prove to be very difficult. House after house that D and I would look at, apply for, and eventually be turned down. With each turn down, it felt as a let down of my faith. I know I was supposed to stay strong, and be confident of my faith in HIM, but the truth is, I was barely hanging on.
When I look back on my ten year journey with CHRIST, I can honestly say that I doubted HIM at first. I didn't truly grasp the concept of FAITH. I failed to understand what it meant to trust HIM fully. However, this past month HE has revealed HIMSELF so magnificently that there is NO more doubting HIM. I know that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE does what HE says HE will do!
These days that only doubts I have are of myself, and mostly that is centered around whether or not I have the courage & discernment to know that it is really HIM who is speaking to me. This past month, I have come to know and recognize HIS voice above all else. I have come to depend on HIM fully to aide me in "the climb" of my spiritual journey.
HIS Daily Teachings today is HIM wanting me to know and understand that I must trust and know HIM fully. HE is wanting me to know that it is HIM that I must rely on to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my life.
I am learning that "the climb" is NOT possible without HIM. Therefore, I must trust that HE is who HE says HE is, and HE will do what HE says HE will do. I am learning that in order to endure "the climb" my belief in HIM must be solid.
"Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:13-16
HE has revealed to me that in order to be able to discern that it is HIM speaking to me, I must prepare my mind for action. I am learning that I will prepare my mind for action by practicing self-control. I know that my hope is in HIM through HIS unending grace that has been gifted to me. Therefore, I must be obedient, and turn my back on all things that are evil. HE has revealed to me that as a CHRIST follower I am called to be HOLY just as HE is HOLY!
I am learning that in order to be truly HOLY the way HE intended, I must clothe myself in HIS righteousness, and in doing so I must surrender so that I will rely fully on HIM for "the climb" of my spiritual journey.
HE never ceases to amaze me as HE reveals things to me in themes for HIS Daily Teachings. As I am typing right now, HE is wanting me to share another part of my journey that has been proven to be very difficult for me. This part is sort of embarrassing for me as it is about my T.V. addiction. If I haven't previously written about it in my blog, well I will say it now, "Hi my name is Heather and I am completely addicted to TRASH T.V."
Whew, there I typed it, and well honestly, I wish I wasn't addicted, but I am. There is something about watching mindless T.V. that just makes all things that are difficult in my life seem to disappear for a few hours. However, as I "think" I am disappearing HE is letting me know that when I open myself up to be completely consumed by T.V. I am missing out on HIS Daily Teachings for my life. HE has revealed to me that HIS teachings are vital to my well being. I am learning that HIS Daily Teachings are the most important part of "the climb" of my spiritual journey.
Today I am being reminded that in order to pick up my cross and follow HIM and to be able to fully seek HIM, I must surrender to myself. I must let go of my desires, which have been proven to keep me farther away from HIM, and HIS will for my life. In short, HE has revealed to me, that when I only keep time for T..V. watching I miss out on HIS best for my life. HE wants me to seek HIM so that I will be able to discern HIS best for my life.
HE has revealed to me that HE wants me to be fulfilled by HIS strength and be filled by all of HIM. HE wants me to know and fully understand that HIS plans for my life, far outweigh my own. He is telling me that when I open myself up to worldly plans it only carries me further away from HIM. HE has lovingly reminded me that whenever I take on a bad habit it is hard for me to let go. Today HE has revealed to me that my T.V. watching is one of my bad habits.
Today HE has shown me that HE doesn't want my mind to be filled with worldly things. HE wants my desire to be for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me throughout my day to be stronger that my obsession for T.V. watching. I am learning that in order to do what HE is telling me to do, I must choose to say NO to myself, and YES to HIM! I know that I must choose to say YES to HIM so that I will be able to endure "the climb" in this season of my life.
Of all of my bad habits, this will probable be the most difficult for me, as I truly enjoy watching shows. However, because I want HIS best for my life, I will choose to obey HIM, and HIS calling for my life. I must choose to be obedient when HE calls upon me.
"We need not fear what our obedience will cause to happen in our life. WE should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss." "What Happens When Women Say YES to GOD" by Lysa Terkeurst
I must meditate on HIS truth so that I will then be filled by HIS peace even when I don't fully understand what HE is demanding during my climb and journey to seek HIM and to know HIM fully.
"We tend to want to see the big picture complete with all the details before stepping out in obedience to GOD."
As D and I were searching for a house to call home, I knew that GOD had the right one already picked out for us. However, in my humanness, and controlling ways, I wanted to know all of the details and of course HE was asking me to go out on blind faith, and trust HIM completely. That itself is another blog, for another day :)
"We long for a cost analysis where we can weigh out what we'd be giving up against what we'd be gaining and then decide if the trade is worth it."
If you could see me right now, you would see that I am raising my hand, "Guilty" I am saying. If things don't line up in my "thinking," then surely they can't really work?!? This I believe is where GOD if HE ever does face palm, must be doing so. Often times I feel HIM say to me, "Why don't you trust me?" The answer is I don't know, because I want to know it all! I want to know where I will end up, what will happen. I have never liked surprises, and because of that I believe that HE has a journey full of surprises in store for me!
I have learned that the more I dread something, the more HE will seek me and teach me NOT to dread it. I am learning this all through "the climb" of my journey with CHRIST. My journey of my life is not about me becoming a new person, but rather it is about me seeking HIM and asking HIM to create in me a purified heart so that I may be prepared and be matured in my faith so that I will be able to fulfill HIS calling for my life.
Today HE has revealed to me that one of the most important parts of "the climb" of my journey is the refining process that HE is putting me through daily. I now understand that this is what HIS Daily Teachings is all about. HE is wanting me to know that I will only be able to follow HIM and HIS will for my life when I surrender and allow HIM to renew and refine me daily.
HE has revealed to me that when I hold onto my desires with a clenched fist, I not only lose the desire to let go... and let GOD, I also lose the desire to give. This loss leads to the loss of my ability to receive. If I have learned anything over this past month is that the more I gave, the more I received. The more I opened my heart to people and HIS calling for my life, the more my life was enriched by HIS love and HIS grace. The more I answered HIS call for my life, the more manageable "the climb" has become in my journey.
I pray today that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to lead you through "the climb" of your spiritual journey. I pray today that you will be able to surrender to the one who knows what is best for you. I pray today that you will have the courage and conviction to seek from HIM what your bad habits are that are keeping you from HIS best for your life. I pray today that HE will reveal HIMSELF to you today that you will be able to know that it is indeed HIM.
Blessings,
Heather
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