Thursday, June 27, 2013

HIS eyes

Last night I had just my youngest with me at home.  D and I had just had just been given a "tough pill to swallow."  The news was very unsettling to me, and I was feeling heartbroken, and even somewhat hopeless.  In that moment my youngest began to cry and through my tears I went and picked him up and couldn't help but to smile.  As the tears silently fell I said aloud, "I will live in the present and enjoy this precious moment with my little boy."  GOD wants me to know that even though my tears may fall there is joy to be found. 

Looking back through my years of "tough pills to swallow" I think about who GOD placed in my life at that moment.  Sometimes HE placed people I could relate to and other times HE placed people I couldn't stand.  I have somehow allowed myself to become a person who is easily annoyed.  I lose sight of HIS grace for people when they are different from me, or dare I say that I feel are being "stupid."  GOD wants me to know that until I can enjoy being around all types of people, I won't be able to enjoy the present moment of my life.

"Most of our unhappiness is caused from people not being what we want them to be or doing what we want them to do."

This is true for my life, in all of my "wisdom" I "think" I know what is best for me.  So therefore I purposely put myself around people I deem "worthy" of my time.  However, GOD's humor is much different from mine.  HE loves surrounding me with people who are a challenge to me.  HE does this so that I am humble.  HE places the very people I cannot stand to be around to teach me about grace, and mercy.

"How can I enjoy the day if I am going to have to deal with annoying people?"

When I let other people's attitudes decide for me how my day is going to be, then I am not truly living and enjoying each moment.  I need to view everyone as GOD's child, and know that HE doesn't appreciate it when I have a bad attitude towards anyone. 

One of my greatest lessons in seeing someone through HIS eyes was this:  My Granny (father's mother) was on her death bed.  Our paths hadn't crossed until the day GOD said to me, "Go and see her, and forgive her."  I remember that morning so well, getting dressed, and getting everyone in our van, I was a complete emotional wreck.  We were going to see her, and truthfully I was terrified.  This is a woman who terrorized me most of my childhood and much of my young adult hood.  She maniuplated my thoughts and allowed things to happen to me that were horrific.  I didn't want to forgive her, but I also knew that I would NEVER have inner peace until I did.  I walked into her hospital room prepared for the "fight of my life."  I was determined that I would NEVER let her hurt me again, and actually I found myself so relieved to know that I would NEVER have to face her again after this day.  The guilt was creeping in, as what kind of person is happy when someone else is dying?  When I first laid my eyes on her I she didn't look like who I had remembered her to be, she was pale, and her hair was unkept.  She wasn't who I had remembered at all.  It was in that moment GOD put on a new pair of "glasses" for me and I saw her in HIS eyes.  Laying there in the bed was HIS child, HIS precious child, whom HE loved and grieved for.  I left that day with forgiveness in my heart, and the greatest blessing of closure.  When I went to her funeral and I heard "her story" my heart broke.  She too had lived such a diffucult life.  I sobbed and mourned her, for who she was, and who she wasn't.  I mourned for who I was, and who I wasn't.  I thank GOD everyday for allowing me to be "pushed" to my limit, and for giving me that "tough pill to swallow." 

Even though I have had success with forgiveness I still have my failures.  When I find myself unable to enjoy someone I am judging critically, I need to say, "Heather the way this person acts in NONE of my business."  JESUS wants me to be merciful in my attitude towards others, because when I am I will be able to enjoy my life.  I must remember that GOD has created all kinds of people with many different temperaments and personalities & HE delights in them all.  GOD delights in variety, that is why HE made us all different. 

"We encounter a lot of people.  Some of them are by choice, but a lot of them just end up in our life as we go through our day."

I need to have a mindset that NO matter what "type" of person comes into my day, I will NOT let them take away my joy!  When I "see" people through HIS eyes I will be accepting of them, and will be able to live each and every moment with joy in my heart. 

"How often do you fail to enjoy your day because a person isn't what you want them to be?"

For me, I fall prey to this daily.  I quite often.... ok everyday it seems get annoyed easily.  I try very hard to focus on being content, but I slip up and get easily annoyed  with people and find myself judging them.  When the guilt from judging them starts to creep in, I try and justify it when in reality it is NONE of my business.

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12

Lord Jesus create in me a heart for people.  To love and accept them for whose they are.  Help me to "see" them they way you do.  Let me be of encouragement for them, and be loving towards them.  Help me to go throughout my day finding ways to bring honor and glory to YOUR name!  Amen!

Friends, I pray that if you struggle with being annoyed easily that you will take a step back and look at people with "HIS eyes."  That you will live in the present and enjoy each and every moment that is your precious gift from HIM.


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