Friday, June 21, 2013

Opposites Attract

When I met D we were 16 & 17 years old.  He was the nicest guy I had ever talked to, and I knew immediately I wanted to be around him more and more.  The truth is we were NOTHING alike!  I was a fiesty firey girl who was strong willed, knew my opinions and wasn't afraid to share them.  I judged people just by the way they looked at me, and I chose friends who were just like me.  That is until D walked into my life.  He was and still is really at peace with most everyone.  It is rare that he yells and gets mad.  He stays calm, cool, & collected.  During the first few years of our relationship we realized just how "opposite" we were of each other.  D likes to say I was a "decepticon" you know from Transformers.  I like to say GOD wasn't refining me yet ;)  The truth the first 6 years of our relationship were completely turmoil filled. Due to my past which GOD wouldn't reveal until 7 years in.  I was hurt, lost, angry, bitter, judgemental, harsh, uncaring, unloving, and unkind wife and mother.  I had allowed all of my past seep into my heart and let it come hardened.  I didn't realize how much my past was destroying my present and future. 

In December of 2001 there was a sudden death in our family, and I began to say out loud, "why am I still here?"  "Why didn't you take me?"  D knew something was terribly wrong, and decided it would be best for us to move so that hopefully I could have some peace.  In the summer of 2002 we moved to Hoffman Estates and our marriage was holding on by a thread.  D and I tore each other apart for each other's faults.  He was becoming me..... In late September 2002 D decided we would be "good parents" and take our two little girls to Sunday School.  We were on divorces door step.  I will never forget that morning, getting the girls dressed up, putting on a dress, D dressed up, getting into the car, driving to what I "thought" was a cute little church named Willow Creek Community Church.  Imagine my shock that when we pulled into parking lot and seeing the size of the church.  For those of you who don't know Willow Creek is a Mega Church.  It is home to an average of 35,000 people per weekend!  We walked into Willow and the people were so welcoming.  They took us on a quick tour and we quickly kissed our precious girls goodbye and were escorted to the main auditorium.  I will never forget the very first words I heard.  "Lay your sorrows at Jesus feet and HE will take them from you."  With all the pain in our hearts D and I began to sob.... the ugly cry.  It was later that day we drove home fed the girls, and put them down for a nap.  We climbed into our bed, and made a promise to GOD ourselves and our girls that we would do EVERYTHING it took to save our marriage.  That if after doing EVERYTHING GOD told us to it didn't work, at least we could say we did everything we could. 

During the next few months GOD really spoke to both of us through HIS word about loving one another.  Things were still tense at times, but slowly HE began to chip away at the ENORMOUS chips on our shoulders.  Slowly HE began to soften the hardened hearts of two people who were so opposite that they were destined to be together.  On Valentine's Day 2003 I surprised D with the news that we were indeed going to be parents again.  I was so happy as I thought he would feel the same way.  In March of 2003 we went to the dr. to confirm the pregnancy, and the dr. determined that indeed things were not ok.  One week later they were able to confirm that this pregnancy was ending.  On March 13, 2003 D and I had our 1st miscarriage.  I was devastated, and he was so relieved.  I was angry, and he was calm.  Little did we know GOD was working within us.   May of 2003 Randy Travis came to Willow Creek and sang the "baptism" song.  They showed a video of Willow's baptism's and I knew right then I would either walk right into the arms of Jesus or I would close the door and never look back.  I chose Jesus.  Tomorrow I will celebrate with my family not only my 35th Birthday but also the greatest day of my life 10 years of Salvation!  On June 22, 2003 along with D I spoke in front of 5,000 people my testimony and why I was choosing Jesus.  A testimony that  I deemed small, and had NO idea just how much it would grow. 

GOD slowly revealed to me that I married someone who was the complete opposite of me.  I never understood how or why D would do the things he did.  I was always frustrated that he wouldn't do things "my" way, failing to realize just how blessed I was to have a husband who was my strength where I was weak.  Slowly GOD taught me just how amazing our life story was becoming.

When we were on divorces door step we were only in year 3 of marriage, and I am so happy to say that D and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage on October 17!  GOD has worked in both of us these past ten years.  Revealing where I am weak D is strong, and where he is weak I am strong.  We know that we make a great team, and the reason that we have a great marriage is because we choose to.  We know that Satan is always trying to take us out, and that disagreements can be tough, but we know that when we choose to follow GOD's will for our lives that everything will fall into place.  That GOD knew that these two "opposite" people were made for each other.   

There are no two people alike, therefore I should be encouraging people and not tearing them down because of their flaws.  Instead I should be loving them inspite of their flaws.  Just like GOD changed and softened my heart towards D, HE can and will do the same for everyone who is in my life.  I need to understand that not everyone is like me.  That HE created them uniquely different for HIS purpose.  I heard a voice say this morning, "How boring life would be if we were all alike."  How true that it is!

D and I have 5 children and NONE of them are alike.  In order for our family to get along great, we had to choose to get along.  We had to learn to be accepting.  I, Heather had to be accepting that the people in my family are NOT mind readers, and don't just automatically "know" how I do things.  To add that just because they don't "do" things the way I would do them doesn't make it wrong.  GOD made us all uniquely different for a reason.  HE wants us to allow each other the freedom to be who we are and be loved for whose we are.  In the end we are all GOD's children and we need to love and respect one another. 

So today I am thanking GOD that "opposites attract" as D and I wouldn't be where we are if we weren't just that! 

Lord Jesus I pray for the hearts of the "opposites" to be softened Lord.  That they will see what a blessing their "opposite" is in their lives.  That they will be loving, and encouraging no matter what "flaws" may be seen.  In Your Holy Name, Amen.

Happy 1st Day of Summer my sweet friends!  Enjoy the this glorious day the Lord has made!


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