Wednesday, April 16, 2014

genuine change....

For as long as I can remember I have always had a stronghold of poor self maintenance.  This started at a young age in choosing to eat Little Debbie snack cakes for breakfast because well I could.  I was given the choice between the healthy, and the bad, and I chose the bad every time.  Looking back I can now see how Satan had a foothold in my life even then with keeping me in bondage with poor self maintenance.

I didn't really have good role models growing up. The people who I grew up with either smoked or drank, or did both.  They also ate a lot of fried food, and drank soda all day long.  It wasn't uncommon to go get my Granny a diet root beet first thing in the morning.  It also wasn't uncommon to eat ice cream for breakfast.  I grew up surrounded by people who trashed their bodies, and without even realizing it until today I have been doing the same.

HIS Daily Teachings today is showing me how, and why I have been struggling with the stronghold of poor self maintenance.  HE is wanting me to know that in order to break free from this stronghold in my life, I must seek HIM, and HE will be the ONE WHO helps me overcome with genuine change.

This morning I have been on a journey with HIM of why I have kept myself in bondage, and HE is revealing to me that it is because of the low self-esteem I have dealt with my entire life.  It is because when you are told you are nothing, you believe you are in fact nothing.  When you are called fat, and as someone used to sing to me, "Fatty Fatty two by four, can't fit through the bathroom door, and I don't want her you can have her she's too fat for me."  What I know now that was meant in fun, was not funny at all then, and in fact it was completely damaging, and I believe that is when the door was open to Satan to have an even deeper foothold in my life.

HE is wanting me to know that in order to live out the life that HE has planned for me, I must choose to break the bonds that I have with poor self maintenance.  HE is wanting me to rebuke the lies that I have been told all of my life that I was fat, ugly, not good enough, unworthy, and worthless.  As I sit here typing this all out, my eyes are welling up with tears, as the pain is raw, and real, and that is how I know that it is HIM leading me through yet another dark hour for me, and helping me see HIS truth of WHO I am, because I know WHOSE I am.

This morning HE is capturing my heart once again and reminding me that HE has amazing plans for me.  HE is wanting me to know that in order to live out those plans I must choose to do what HE is telling me to do.  This means for me that I must go back into my past, and rebuke any and all bondage's and agreements I have made with the enemy, even if I don't even remember making them.  HE is wanting me to know that Satan is so conniving and convincing and predatory that he came after me to destroy me from the moment I was conceived.  HE is telling me that as long as I continue to seek HIM and HIS will for my life, I will be protected by HIS power and HIS authority, as HE is mine, and I am HIS child.  HE loves me more than anyone could possibly love me, and HE knows me best, and because of this, I must obey HIM, and I must be willing to go into the past and see where my downfall of poor self maintenance began.

Through this unpleasant stroll down memory lane, HE is telling me that it is through HIS HOLY SPIRIT that I will be able to break free from old patters of self maintenance, and be able to take of new patters which will lead me to HIS true freedom for HIS plans for my life, and it is then that I will be able to say that I have gone through genuine change.

HE is wanting me to know that HE is wanting me to have total freedom from this stronghold as it is holding me back from HIS best for my life.  HE is telling me that I must choose to take courage, and don't be afraid, as HE is there with me!   I am learning more and more everyday what it means to put on HIS armor, and speak HIS truth, so that the enemy will flee at the mere mention of HIS HOLY, MIGHTY, and ALL POWERFUL NAME!

"But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Matthew 14:27

HE is wanting me to understand that the reason I have dealt and lived with this stronghold for so long in my life, is because the enemy had me scared and fearful of doing HIS will for my life.  Over and over again I could hear the enemy say to me, "it's too hard, GOD doesn't want you to work that hard.  If HE really loves you, you wouldn't have to struggle.  What kind of GOD would make you feel pain?"  Like a broken record, the songs I wrote above would play in my head, and as soon as I would get started with choosing to be healthy, I would quickly turn to, give me something to soothe me.  It was then that I would say, "an iced coffee would make me happy, well that and a new shirt, or bracelet."  Over and over, I would self-sabotage, and over and over I would pull even further away from HIS plans for my life.

HE is wanting me to know that HIS true freedom is nothing that I should ever fear.  HE is wanting me to know that though it may be hard work, it will be worth it, as when I choose to live HIS will for my life, it is then that HE will be able to use me according to HIS plans.  It is because HE has proven HIMSELF time and again that HIS plans are the best for me, I must choose to say YES to struggle, as that is when I will know that I am growing.  In seeking HIM daily, and asking HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, I am learning that this means that I am also saying, "LORD JESUS, grow me, use me, show me, stretch my faith in you, build me strong, and make me with what the enemy is trying to break me with.  Help me overcome!"

This morning HE is showing me that in keeping this stronghold in my life, it is another part of my own prison without a key that I am keeping myself locked up in.  Therefore, I must seek HIM as HE is the key to unlocking my prison, and it is HIS truth that unlocks me, as it is written that when I know HIS truth, then I will be set free.  In choosing to BELIEVE and trust HIM completely,  I will continue to seek after HIM so that I will be able to receive HIS true freedom, and to know that I have gone through a genuine change.  

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" John 8:32

HE is telling me that in order to go through genuine change, I must seek HIM and ask HIM to give me the mindset that I don't want to live like this anymore.  I don't want to have those memories of those songs being sang to me.  I don't want poor self image, and maintenance to even be a part of my vocabulary anymore.  Therefore, I must choose to say NO to the negative, and start living HIS truth of WHO I truly am, as I am HIS and well as JOYCE MEYER says it, "GOD doesn't make junk!"

HE is wanting me to know that genuine change is within my reach when I seek HIM and allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every decision that I choose to make in this journey that I am on with HIM of not only looking great, but feeling great as well.

HIS truth of about my poor self maintenance is be revealed as, I am in poor health because working out and eating right seems so daunting to me.  The very thought of every day struggling with food and overall lifestyle change overwhelms me.  HE is wanting me to remember HIS words about how HE truly is my strength and with HIM I can do anything with HIM, as HE is my only source for strength.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me." Psalm 28:7

I am learning that I must choose my health daily, just as I choose HIM daily.  I know this as HIS word is written that my body is HIS HOLY temple, and I must take care of it.  More than even I am hearing from HIM that HE won't be able to use me the way HE has planned until I start saying no to the "cookie, cake, ice cream, pizza, savory yummy buttery foods, flavored coffee's and teas.  

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own" 1 Corinthians 6:19

HE is telling me that it is time that I start treating my body right, by eating right, getting plenty of sleep and just the right amount of exercise.  I must choose to start treating myself right, as I am worth it, because I am HIS and HE thinks I am magnificent!  

HE is wanting me to know and understand that all the dieting that I have done over the years has really only brought me temporary relief.  HE is wanting me to know that relief is not HIS true freedom that HE has planned for my life.  Therefore I must rely on HIS strength and HIS power to carry me through the hard times and seek HIS word, which is HIS truth that will unlock my prison.  This I know is when I will have gone through genuine change and that is when I will be truly living for HIM.

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:31

HE is asking me to trust HIM with my burdens, therefore whenever I am feeling weary, sad, broken, lost, overwhelmed, and scared I must let go of my foolish pride, and seek HIM and ask for HIS help.  HE is telling me I must repent all the years where I "tried" to handle things on my own without HIM.  I must choose to rely on HIM!

HE is wanting me to know that I order for me to overcome this stronghold, I must choose to silence my self doubt, my living, breathing, reading, and speaking HIS word, which is HIS truth for my life.  I must surround myself with people who will keep me accountable to following HIS teachings.  I must begin every day with an affirmation to HIM, that set apart from HIM I can do nothing.  I must thank HIM and praise HIM for HIS goodness, and HIS mercy that HE showers upon me every single day.  I must be thankful for the tests and trials that I am being put through, as I know that they are all designed to build me, and make me stronger.  

So today is the day that I choose to take action!  Today is the day where I will not only hear HIS whispers, but I will heed HIS whispers, and it is then that I know that genuine change will begin to take place inside of me.  HE is wanting me to know that until I change the inside, changing the outside just keeps me in the stronghold.  Today is the day that I am breaking free!  

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

I pray today that if you are in need of genuine change that you will have the courage to seek HIM.  I pray today that HE will reveal to you the strongholds in your life, and you will allow HIM to teach, lead, and guide you on your journey towards wholeness with HIM.  I pray for many blessings, and favors to be poured over your life as a result of your obedience in HIM.  

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who takes refuge in HIM." Psalm 34:8


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