Friday, December 6, 2013

Believe! Part 2

By now, if you have been reading my blog for a while, you have noticed and read that GOD works in themes in my life.  Apparently, one dose of BELIEVE, was not near enough for me, so it's no surprise to me that this morning HE woke me up at 4:30 a.m. like clock work, and I, in all of my stubbornness, "tried" to go back to sleep.  By 5:11 a.m. I gave up "trying" and retreated to D's office and began today's teaching.

HIS Daily Teaching today was to continue to show me where my disbelief lies in my thoughts.  HE  has shown me today that I have allowed this disbelief to come into my thoughts, without even realizing that it was there.  Today I read these words, "unbelief produces misery."  If that isn't the truth, I don't know what is.

For the past two almost three months, I have found myself dwindling in my faith and belief in HIM that HE  has really called me to write HIS Daily Teachings.  Even as each day that I see the stats climbing, I am still struggling with disbelief that I am doing what HE has called me to do.  Over and over I have been struggling with doubts, and thoughts of "no one reads it really, no one will even notice if I don't write it anymore."  I knew those thoughts were not from HIM, however I was constantly struggling with those very thoughts.

In today's reading HE has shown me that I have allowed "mind binding spirits" to enter my thoughts.  Spirits who have taken HIS word and twisted in, and have caused mass chaos and confusion in my life.   In not realizing that this was happening, I have been allowing myself to be taken over by the disbelief in my life, and I have failed miserably at HIS Daily Teachings.

HE is asking me to share another one of my failures that the disbelief has caused in my life.  My thoughts, and actions have become very negative.  Doubt has set very deep into my heart, and I have never felt more isolated and alone in this world, that I have in the past few months.  I have become a Mama of rage, and a wife of hatred without realizing it.  

HE is wanting me to know that HE didn't reveal this to me to make me feel bad, and to make me feel worse than I already do.  I am learning that HE has revealed this so that I will be filled by HIS power, and HIS authority through HIS HOLY SPIRIT working in me, and through me, to set me free!  How powerful that thought is to me, and how freeing it is to me to know that HE truly is fighting for me!  

Last night I attended a friend's at home party, and I "tried" connecting with someone I had met just recently, and, well they rejected me.  I came home in tears, as doubt had set in once again, and once again HE began to whisper to me, "Do you believe ME?"  "Do you trust ME?"  "Haven't I proven MYSELF to you?"  "You are not who you think you are!"  "You are MY daughter, I love you, I have chosen you to be this way for MY plan, and MY purpose!"  "Believe ME, I would never do anything that would bring harm to you!"  "I have called you and have set you apart for MY good, which in turn is for your good!"

Even just typing this all out this morning has been so overwhelming to me that HE truly does care for me!  HE truly does love me, and HE continues to seek me, and "whisper" to me the things that I am struggling with!  Today HE is letting me know that I must meditate on HIS words:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I am learning that this means I must bring it ALL to HIM.  ALL of my doubts, ALL of my fears,  and ALL of my questions will be answered by HIM.  HE is letting me know that HIS truth will be spoken to me, and I will be filled by HIS peace that surpasses anything and everything of this world.  I must BELIEVE!

HE is wanting me to know that in choosing to allow disbelief in my thoughts, I have lost sight of my calling.  In making the agreements to say that "no one really cares, no one will miss it," I have missed out of some of HIS DAILY Teachings.  I am learning that the more I say NO to HIM, the harder it is, and the longer it takes for me to fully understand HIS Daily Teachings.  

HE is revealing to me today that I have been allowing myself to become more and more discouraged as each day in my journey passes.  It pains me to know that I have wasted time in worrying, doubting, disbelieving, and dishonoring HIS very teachings that HE has blessed me with so that my life will be lived according to HIS plan and HIS purpose.

Once again HE is telling me that HE wants to set me free from these "mind binding spirits" therefore, I must choose to BELIEVE!  I must do what HE calls me to do!  I must do what HE tells me to do! I must obey HIS word!  I must BELIEVE!

"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

HE is telling me that in choosing to stay in HIS word, I am truly one of HIS disciples.  Once again HE letting me know that I have been anointed by HIS HOLY SPIRIT.  I am learning once again that I have been anointed because I have chosen to BELIEVE!

"He sent out his word and healed them;he rescued them from the grave." Psalm 107:20

Now begins round two of HIM teaching me that HE is my deliverer.  HE can, will, and does rescue me from my very own pit of destruction.  HE is letting me know that enough time has been wasted in me doubting, fearing, and worrying.  HE is telling me that it is time that I choose to BELIEVE! 

Three months ago GOD sent us on a new journey, and that was D' new job, and our new home.  While I love that D loves his new job, and I love our new home, I have found myself becoming incredibly "homesick."  I have found myself, agreeing to thoughts of "I hate it here, I wish we would have never moved."  I have found myself asking HIM why, "WHY GOD, why did YOU have to take away our church, our loving church family?"  "When GOD when are you going to bless us with a new church to call "home?"  As each day has passes I have found myself longing for what used to be, instead of keeping myself ready for what is to come.  I have failed to understand that nothing is impossible for HIM when I choose to BELIEVE!  

Today HE has revealed to me that because of my disbelief, I have forgotten that HE has called me to write this blog.  I, Heather, in my humanness have allowed myself to live in continual shock that HE has chosen me, Heather, a broken hott mess, to write something so great.  I write the word great, as HE is great!  HIS word is great!  HIS love is great!  HIS mercy is great!  HIS truth is great!

GREAT is the ONE WHO is in me, WHO loves me, WHO fights for me, WHO calls on me to pick up my cross daily, and follow HIM.  GREAT is the ONE WHO paves the way for me to walk, and WHO holds my hand and carries me through the storms that threaten to take me out.  GREAT is the ONE WHO has saved me, and delivered me from the evil that has been trying to destroy me since the day of my birth.

I know all of this to be true, all because I have chosen to BELIEVE!

HE is telling me that enough is enough.  I am called by HIM to write about my testimony.  I am called to be the HANDS and FEET of JESUS.  I BELIEVE and I TRUST that HIS plans and HIS purpose for my life is far greater than I could ever imagine.

"I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." Revelations 3:8

Joyce Meyer writes: "I'm sure that you are reading this book right now, because you were led to it."

I would say that you are reading this blog right now, because you were led to it.

HE is wanting me to know that just as I am struggling with overcoming the disbelief in my life, there are so many more people in this world with the exact same struggle.  HE is wanting me to know that my writing this blog is not only to remind me of HIS Daily Teachings, but to bring hope to the hopeless.  To encourage and to be encouraged as I see the stats climb daily.  To speak HIS word, and HIS truth, so that it will bring HIS healing word to the wounded and broken hearts that are all everywhere.  To share my life as a living testament of WHO the ONE TRUE LIVING GOD is, what HE has done, and what HE will continue to do.  

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God,who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." James 1:2-8

I am honored and humbled each time I write HIS Daily Teachings, as I know that my struggles, and strife are for my own good.  I know that HE has it all worked out for my own good, and HE keeps me in constant need for HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single moment of my journey with HIM.  I am amazed at how I can't go more than a few days with out completely craving HIS word, and needing to be filled by HIS HOLY SPIRIT and needing HIS constant guidance in each step I take. I am thankful that when I speak HIS truth, from HIS word, I can, and will be set free!  All because I have chosen to BELIEVE!

I pray today that you will be filled by HIS word, and HIS promise and you will be set free when you choose to BELIEVE!  I pray that you will have the courage to pray, seek, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide you through every single step of your journey.  I pray that when the doubts set in you know that HE is there, HE is fighting for you, HE loves you and HE will continue to rescue you.  I pray that through it all one thing will remain in your thoughts, and that is you will choose to BELIEVE!


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