Sunday, December 15, 2013
The clock read 3:38 a.m. this morning, I could feel HIS gentle nudge in telling me that it was time for HIS Daily Teachings. Normally that time would throw me off and I would fight HIM thinking, surely I needed sleep more than I needed to hear right right at that moment. However, since Friday night, HE has been stirring something up inside of me. Something that I never really gave much thought to, until I was act directly the one question which I have always dreaded.
D and I went out Friday on date night for the first time since the start of our latest adventure. We were enjoying our food, each other's company, and the warm and gentle kindness of our waitress. Each time as she came back to the table she asked us more about ourselves. Laughter, and smiles filled our conversations, and she shared a little bit about herself as well. Towards the end of our meal she asked us, "Did you two always plan on having five children?" I thought to myself, oh here we go again, how am I going to answer that question this time. Little did I know that GOD was up to something BIG, and it wasn't until this morning that I realized just how BIG.
I said a breath prayer, and before I knew it these words came out of my mouth, "We never really planned per say, but GOD did, HE knew exactly when we were to have our children. HE made me a Mama at the young age of twenty, and then nineteen short months later I became a Mama for the second time. As we learned of the impending birth of each of our children, we were amazed, but each time when they arrived it was just as exciting as the first time we became parents. Each of them were made specifically for our family, and they are each lovely and wonderful in their own special way.
Our waitress looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "that was such a beautiful way of saying how HIS timing has been perfect for your family." I was even in awe of my own answer, and though I didn't realize it then, I know now that it was HIS HOLY SPIRIT that was doing the talking.
HIS Daily Teachings today is HIS loving reminder that everything that has happened in our family has been all through HIS timing. HIS timing has become crucial in my thinking, and understanding of how to become more CHRIST-like as each day passes. This morning the theme of contentment that has been swirling around in my mind has come to fruition.
HE is teaching me that in order for me to be like HIM, I must be accepting, of HIS timing, and be content in being right where HE has placed me. HE is wanting me to know that nothing in my life or my children's lives have been by chance.
"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6
Each morning I journal the current status of my heart, and this morning I wrote, "Lord Jesus, I want and desire that ordinary, plain and simple, typical everyday love and life for my children. I want a legacy of faith for them, not tragic circumstances that bring us together. I would never want my children to have to endure the pain I did. Help me to reach and console the tender hearts of my children. Help me to be the Mama YOU have called me to be for them."
With a heavy heart I wrote that, and HE slowly began working in me. HE is telling me that the only way I can truly be the Mama HE has called me to be is by TRUSTING in HIS timing that everything has happened, is happening, and will continue to happen just as HE has planned.
"Motherhood is being in a partnership with GOD."
HE is telling me that even though D and I didn't plan on having five children in the beginning of our marriage, HE did. HE is wanting me to remember that the birth of each of my children have been a miracle through HIS timing. HE is reminding me once again that each of them were born at just the right time for our family, and they each have their own unique fit into the makings of our family.
This morning HE has me focused on our oldest daughter M. She is our first born, our stubborn, strong-willed, full of life, compassionate, world-changing daughter. She doesn't back down, she's persistent in every way. Her passion and zest for life is unmatched by any of her siblings. Her ability to forgive and extend grace keep her Daddy and I in complete awe. She doesn't let the pressure of being the oldest keep her from being CHRIST-like. She doesn't give into the pressure and stress that any of us put on her. She doesn't let her peers change her, instead she loves them just as they are, and though it may not happen right away, most of the time they end up coming around and seeing that she truly is a genuine person.
M ~ Daddy and I are in constant awe of you. I am so honored and blessed to call you mine. I never knew love until I had you, and I pinched myself each time I looked at you on the night you were born. Never would I have imagined the amazing young woman you have grown to become, and I know now that it has all been through HIS timing. I can't wait to see what HE is going to do with you next! Keep being a world-changer and not a world-pleaser. Keep blowing us all away with your love and compassion that in unmatched. I love you more than my words could ever say. ~ Mama
"As a Mother my job is to take care of the possible, and trust GOD with the impossible."
Ruth Bell Graham
This morning HE has revealed to me that HE has absolutely NO interest in making sure that I am like other mom's. HE is wanting me to know that I must let go of my jealously of how other moms are with their children. HE is telling me that I am the only one who is upset, that I am not that pinterest, baking everyday, crafty, artistic, Suzy homemaker ready with brownies, soft spoken, Mom. I am however, Mama to five of HIS amazing blessings. A Mama who has been given the capacity to see beyond what is on the surface, who loves her children fiercely, who would do what the LORD calls me to do in order to raise them to be CHRIST-like. HIS words this morning have given me even more reasons not to hang onto the jealousy that has been closing in on me for quite some time now.
"Jealousy is a very powerful and a very negative emotion that wars against our ability to accept all that happens to us as coming from the hands of a good GOD." Kendra Smiley
"Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming,but who can stand before jealousy?" Proverbs 27:4
HE is letting me know that the jealousy I allow in my heart, is keeping me in bondage with Satan, and is keeping me from having a content heart. Therefore, I must trust HIM that HIS plans are far greater than what "my plans" are for my life. I must trust that what HE has in store for me is NOT always going to be what HE has in store for other moms.
HE is wanting me to know that HE doesn't want my comparison of myself to other mom's to get in the way of my contentment in being the Mama HE has called me to be. HE is wanting me to TRUST HIM completely and know that HIS timing is perfect!
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11
"GOD calls me to be content, not complacent, but content"
"Comparison is a game with NO winners."
Today HE is wanting me to stop asking Why things are the way they are, and TRUST HIS timing, and know and BELIEVE that HE is who HE says HE is, and everything that happens in my life is for HIS plans and HIS purpose, and even when it's hard, or heartbreaking, HE can, will, and does make everything work together for my own good. HE is telling me that I need to start asking HIM "what." For me that would mean asking HIM, "what can I learn from the current situation I am in?" "What does this move mean for our family?" "What can I do as their Mama to help them adjust and transition?"
This morning HE is telling me that the only thing I can do is my best. HE is telling me, "Do your best, and let ME take care of the rest!" "Ask me to change you, and not worry about me changing them!"
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well." Psalm 139:14
HE is wanting me to remember that all of life is precious, and each and every single one of else was created just the way HE had intended. So today I ask HIM, "LORD create in me a content heart, one that is NOT jealous, one that loves beyond reason, and is accepting of people just as they are." It is because of HIS Daily Teaching today that I now know that I must choose contentment over comparison.
"A child is a gift whose worth cannot be measured except by the heart." Theresa Ann Hunt
HE is reminding me that HE is SOVEREIGN and HE has a great plan for each of my children. Therefore, I must TRUST HIM, and I must choose to be content!
"A Mother understands what a child does not say." Jewish Proverb
This very statement couldn't be more true for my life. So many times D has struggled to understand what is going on with our children, and after only a few minutes speaking with them, I am able to sense that there is much more than meets the eye. HE is wanting me to know that I am able to do this, because I have been blessed with HIS mercy, HIS discernment, and HIS wisdom. I know that it is because I am choosing to seek HIM, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me every single day, that I am able to understand that everything that has happened is happening, and will happen is all because of HIS timing.
HIS final reminder to me this morning is this: "I have brought you right where you are, in order to grown you in your faith for ME, so please just TRUST ME and be content that I know what is best for you!"
I pray today that you will know that everything that happens in your life, is all in HIS timing. I pray that if you are in a season of waiting, and you are faithful, that you will know that HIS timing is perfect, and at just the right exact moment HE will bless you beyond measure. I pray that you will know the cries of your heart are being heard, and in HIS perfect timing, HE will answer your prayers.