Saturday, December 21, 2013

"Life Mender"

Yesterday I took my just turned five year old son Isaac to his preschool screening.  My son is by far the most charismatic of my five children.  During the screening he did very well, and as always he was a complete charmer and won over the hearts of even the most serious no non-sense of teachers.  He truly did light up the room, and once again I was in awe of him, and of WHO GOD has made him to be.

Though I was in awe, my heart was also breaking, as my son struggles socially with other children.  He doesn't understand how to deal with his emotions when he feels wronged.  Though D and I have been working so hard with him, we just can't seem to get him to grasp how he needs to behave.  

HIS Daily Teachings this morning, was a total surprise to me, as HE had me read the story of the "paralyzed man"   His friends,  lowered him through a roof of a house to see JESUS. They do this so that the man will be healed.  The man on the cot received forgiveness of his sins, and was surprised by JESUS grace.  After he was told that his sins had been forgiven, JESUS said, " pick up your mat and go home."  Just like that, the man stood up picked up his mat and went home.   

"And getting into a boat he crossed over and came to his own city.  And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.” And behold, some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming.”  But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said,“Why do you think evil in your hearts?  For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’?  But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.”  And he rose and went home.  When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men" Matthew 9:1-7

HE is wanting me to know today that HE heard, and felt my heart sink yesterday as we learned that Isaac would be put on a waiting list for preschool.  HE knows that I was feeling defeated, and agreed to feeling defeated, as I learned that the teachers felt that my son didn't really raise any concerns with them.  As Isaac's mom it was very disheartening to me to hear this, as I have been fighting for so long to seek guidance in how to train my son up right.  

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

The more I read about the "paralyzed man" in the bible, the more HE began to reveal to me that my fear for my son Isaac's future is the same way.  HE is reminding me that if ever I don't see HIM working in my life, all I have to do is look back into my life at the time that my Isaac was born unto our family.  

At the time he was born our family had really been put to the test.  D and I had lost our first home through foreclosure, and we found ourselves having to declare bankruptcy.  Our daughters had been hurt in the most unimaginable way, that changed the course of our families lives forever.  Our oldest daughter M was gravely ill, and as each month of my pregnancy passed, the sicker she became. 

As I entered into my eighth month of pregnancy, we learned that something was very wrong with our son. Not physically wrong with him, but something wrong with the pregnancy.   As I had been so focused on caring for our then nine year old daughter, I had completely forgotten that I was pregnant with my fourth child.  Looking back, I am so thankful that HE kept me oblivious to the fact that things were not right with my pregnancy.  

One morning in November of 2008 I headed to my o.b.'s office for a routine checkup.  I remember the doctor asking me when was the last time I felt him kick, and it was then that I could only remember him kicking once in my entire pregnancy.  Upon hearing the news my o.b. ordered a NST (non stress test) that would be the first of many.  Well I can honestly say I failed that test with flying colors.  Next I was referred to Maternal Fetal specialists.  4D ultrasounds became our "normal," as did thrice weekly NST, of which I failed every single one of them.  I would then head over the hospital where I would be monitored.  

If that wasn't enough, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  It was then that the reality of my situation began to sink in.  Before I knew it I was checking my blood sugars 8 times a day, and giving myself two injections of insulin.  My fingers were sore, and each time I had to inject myself, I was in shock that this was my reality. 

Finally in our 37th week of pregnancy the two sets of doctors decided that I needed to have a amniocentesis to determine whether or not my son was ready to be born.  That test would later conclude that in deed he was NOT ready to be born yet.  My heart sank, as one doctor was concerned that he wouldn't make it, and the other said, we needed to give him more time. 

I wish I could say that I gave it all up to GOD, but fear began to seep in, and doubt began to take up residence in my heart.  It was in my 37th week that we finally learned what was "wrong."  My son Isaac was all tangled up in his cord.  Not only around his neck, but his entire body.  Hence the reason I only felt him move once.  

Before I even knew I was pregnant with Isaac, we were driving to church one morning, and I said to D, "if we were to ever have a son, what would you name him?"  D looked right at me and said, "I would name him Isaac."  

HE reminded me of that conversation that D and I had years ago, and today reminded me that the meaning of our son's name is laughter.  Oh and the laughter and joy that our son brings to our family!   He is such a joy to have in our family.  Everywhere he goes he brings so much light to the room!  He captures the hearts of everyone and he truly had the biggest heart for his SAVIOR JESUS.

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Our son Isaac, is our families constant source of laughter, and he truly is one of our prayer warriors in our home.  Every night at dinner when it's time to say that blessing, he volunteers, every single time!  Not only does he volunteer he insists!

"Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” Genesis 21:6

Once again I am in shock and awe of what HE is teaching me.  HE is wanting me to know that it is during the times where I find myself wondering whether or not to join the fight, or take a flight, HE is asking me to remember that nothing can harm me, and nothing is impossible with HIM, or for HIM.  HE is reminding me that in the greatest storms of my life, is where HE will find me.  In the happiest moments of my life, is where HE will find me.  In the saddest, loneliest moments of my life, is where HE will find me.  In the times where I feel defeated, that is where HE will find me.

"If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved." Romans 10:9-10

HE is wanting me to know that with HIM, I will NEVER be defeated, as HE is always fighting for me.  HE is wanting me to know that HE is fighting for me, even when I don't see HIM!  HE is wanting me to know that in my times of feeling doubt, I must keep my eyes focused on HIM.  I must choose to BELIEVE HIM, that HE truly is the GOD, my GOD who saves!  

HE is wanting me to boldly declare that through HIM all of my sins have been washed away.  I know that is true, because I know that I have been forgiven by HIM.  

"Our misconceptions are changed when we meet the "Real" JESUS for ourselves" Tim Roehl "Surprised by Grace"

HE is wanting me to remember that through HIS gift of my son, my life is never boring.  HE is wanting me to know that it has been HIS intention all along to keep my life full of fun, laughter, and smiles.  I also say that I didn't truly become a challenged mom until I had my first son.  Anyone who asks me I will tell them that my son challenges me that I could have never imagined.  HIS good news today is that even though I couldn't HE did!  

Whenever I think of  my son Isaac, I think to myself, "GOD you truly do have a sense of humor!"

HE is wanting me to share HIS good news that HE is not dark, brooding, or stoic.  Rather HE is the light in my darkest days.  When I seek HIM, HE smiles at me, and when I speak HIS truth, I know that HE delights in me!  HE is telling me that in my weakness I must know that HE is NOT a spineless weak CHRIST!  HE is the ALMIGHTY!  HE is the GREAT ONE!  HE is the HEALER, HE IS THE PROTECTOR, HE IS THE CREATOR, HE is the one who knows and loves me best, not only me, but everyone!  

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

HE is showing me that HE is the one who has blessed me with so much laughter, and brought me so much JOY.  I am learning that laughter is in our home because of HIM, because of HIS gift of our son Isaac who is a HUGE part of our family.  

HE is telling me that only HE knows the real needs of my life.  Therefore, I must not let myself feel defeated, I must continue to press on.  I must choose to pick up my cross daily, and follow HIM! I must choose JESUS, and ask HIM to teach, lead, and guide me through every single step of my journey.  My journey towards wholeness.  HE is wanting me to know that in asking HIM to do those things, HE will heal me emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and relationally.

"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." Luke 9:23

"JESUS has the power to bring healing to every area of our lives." Tim Roehl "Surprised by Grace"

I am learning that in seeking HIM, HE is making me the "Better Me."  I know that this is because of WHO HE is, and what HE has done for me, is doing for me, and will continue to do for me!  HE is wanting me to remember that if even I am feeling down, all I have to do is HE sent HIS loving reminder that "laughter" truly is the best medicine!

I pray today that you will be able to know the JESUS as HE has been written in the bible.  I pray that HE will capture your heart, soul, and mind, and that you will have the courage to refine and renew your heart to be more like HIS.  I pray that you will know that in the times where you may "feel" defeated, that you will know that HE is there, fighting for you.  HE is just waiting for you to see that HE truly is where where you stand!  HE is wanting you to be able to share HIS good news, that indeed HE is your "life mender."


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