This morning I woke up early feeling extremely weary, and weeping into HIS chest I cried about all the things that seemed too unbearable to even comprehend that we were about to experience. I cried out from the deepest part of my soul, the absolute anguish I felt in losing my son.
I came downstairs to journal, and write out what was on my heart, and cried to my parents of all the things that were plaguing my heart, soul, and mind this morning. I sent a text to a wonderful, loving, prayer warrior friend, and she prayed for me to draw from HIS strength, that it was okay for me NOT to be strong.
As I began to seek HIS face this morning, I could feel HIM saying to me, "My grace is with you, my power of my anointing healing is upon you, my strength is yours, I am here, there is no need for you to be weary, I'm holding you."
Feeling so incredibly defeated by sorrow, sadness, and pain I began to read today's devotionals. HIS Daily Teachings today is HIS loving message to me, that HIS anointing power of healing is upon me. HE is wanting me to know that even though I may not realize it, or haven't realized it yet, the fact that this blog, has reached thousands upon thousands in this last week says that HIS word is anointed, and is flowing in me and through me for ALL to hear.
This morning HE is filling me with HIS grace, to lead me through HIS anointing power of healing, so that I will be able to share my story of sadness, grief, and loss, that is OVERCOME by HIS healing, of grace, mercy, peace, and love. HE is wanting me to know that even though I may not understand why things happened the way they did, HE knows, and HE planned them perfectly for my life. NOT only did HE plan the tragedy, but HE also planned the beauty that would come out of the ashes of the greatest tragedy I have ever known.
"The Spirit of the Lord upon Me,Because the has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
This morning HE is taking me back to a series we learned at our church called, "Known." The question that was always asked was, "when you leave this earth, WHO do you want to be "Known" as?" Week after week, I couldn't figure out what HE was asking me, that is besides my human desire to be "Known" as nice, loving, and forgiving. This morning HE is filling me with HIS unending grace, and unfailing love, and powerful and mighty strength to really seek HIS face, in what HE wants me to be "Known" as
HE is telling me that it has always been HIS intention for me to be "Known" as HIS FAITHFUL and HUMBLE SERVANT WHO was willing to TRUST HIM when everything around me was crumbling. I am to be "Known" as even in the midst of my greatest sorrow, sadness, and pain, I still will PRAISE HIM. I am to be "Known" as even though the world says its okay for me to be angry with HIM, and its okay for me to scream at him, and hate HIM, that is NOT me. I am to be "Known," rather I will be KNOWN as HIS FAITHFUL and HUMBLE SERVANT, WHO loves HIM, no matter what I may go through in this life that I have been given.
Even as I type this my breath is taken away by the beauty of HIS love for me, that HE so intricately carved out my life story so that I would see HIM in everything. Through the eyes of my children, and my loving husband. Through the kind words of friends, and loving touch of family, HIS hand is in ALL of it. HE is letting me know that the reason being is so that I will be KNOWN as HIS HUMBLE and FAITHFUL SERVANT WHO chose to soar above the storm, the only way I know how, and that is by seeking HIS face, and allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me, so that I, Heather, will have the courage to soar.
"but those who hope in the They will soar on wings like eagles;
Through many phone calls, texts, emails, and private messages I have learned that HIS Daily Teachings is truly inspirational. My prayer for this blog has always been that it would be for HIS glory and not mine. My prayer has always been for HIS word to reach the masses to let them know that no matter how bad things have gotten for them, no matter what they may have been through, HE is there, HE was there, and WILL be there, ALWAYS. My continuing prayer has been that I will live my life like no other, in seeking HIM, to teach, lead, and guide me to learn HIS word, study HIS word, meditate on HIS word, so that I would be able to speak HIS word. All of this was my greatest desire, without my even realizing WHY... today I am learning WHY, and that is so that when my greatest, test, trial, and storm hit, I would have the courage to soar.
Today I am awestruck by HIM, that HE would gift me with a key of courage a month ago, and how HE knew in my humanness I would "try" to "think" of WHY it was given to me. Today I know, I am confident that it is because HIS desire was so great for me to have HIS PURPOSE, MY PURPOSE, written ON PURPOSE to be KNOWN as HIS HUMBLE AND FAITHFUL SERVANT, who would have the courage to soar in the midst of the hardest thing a parent would ever have to face.... the loss of their child.
I take great comfort that HE sought me out long ago to teach me that my children, my precious five children were NOT really mine, but they were HIS gift to me. Each of them were sent to me at a time in my life where I needed HIM, and it wasn't until much later on that I would realize that my needing HIM was ALL a part of HIS plan to bring me back to HIM.
Today HIS message of HOPE is overflowing my heart, soul, and mind, as the sorrow finds me, and flows into me, and through me. Today HE is there, HE waiting, HIS strength, and HIS grace are mine. Today HE is my HEALER, and I am seeking HIS grace so that I will have the courage to soar.
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS~ I pray today that you will know that your story, your life was beautifully written by HIM. I pray that you will have the courage to seek HIM, so that you will be filled with HIS HOPE and HIS promises that HE will NEVER leave you, nor will HE ever forsake you. I pray today that you will allow HIM to take you deep into the depths of your greatest pain, and allow HIM to heal, transform and renew your heart, soul, and mind, so that when your next storm comes raging into your life, you too my beautiful friends will have the courage to soar.
so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick, and their illnesses were cured and the evil spirits left them." Acts 19:12
Praying for each and every life that reads this blog today, to receive HIS healing touch where it is so desperately needed. With much love, prayers, compassion, and understanding,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,