Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Tall Order

Power Thought Devotional October 8th by Joyce Meyer ~ GOD chose me because HE loves me

This morning as I struggled to put pen to paper, I could sense that HE was working hard on my heart, as doubt was creeping in.  Doubt of whether or NOT I could really live my life according to HIS plan, HIS will, and HIS ways.  It seems as if though at every turn everything is difficult for me to manage, when I think about WHO I am called to be.  

Lately I have struggled immensely with negative thoughts about difficult people.  I have struggled also in accepting of my reactions to hatred when ALL I can see is love.  It's confusing to me how I can go from being un-accepting, to being accepting.  This for me seems a Tall Order for me to live as HE has called me to live.

HIS Daily Teachings today is getting right to the matters of my heart and shining HIS light on the lies of the enemy that have penetrated my heart.  The biggest lie that is affecting me the worst is whether or not I am accepted.  HE is telling me that I have placed my value in what the world thinks of me, when really the only place I will ever find my true value is in HIM.  

Yesterday was prime example of how I depend too much on how the world thinks of me.  D was meeting me after work so we could attend our bi-weekly lifegroup.  I left home on time, and got to our meeting place, however as soon as I got there I called D to see where he was, and he wasn't anywhere near where I felt he needed to be.  When the reality hit that we were in fact going to be late, I became completely angry with him.  So much in fact that I hung up on him.   I could sense the anger rising in me, and began to say out loud, "GOD I need YOU, please take these negative thoughts from my mind, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH TO ME, PLEASE."  The more I prayed the worse I felt, and until this morning I didn't understand why I was struggling so much.

HE is letting me know that my anger wasn't really directed at D, but rather at my overwhelming sense that being WHO HE has called me to be is too much of a Tall Order for me to ever being able to do on my own.  HE is wanting me to know that yesterday I placed too much thought into what other's would think of me, and in my neediness to be liked, I allowed the enemy a foothold into my heart, and allowed him to mislead me in my knowledge of where my true worth can be found.

HE is wanting me to know that in the times where I view my life as a Tall Order what I really need to be doing is seeking HIM, and allowing HIM to teach, lead, and guide me.  HE is telling me that it is completely foolish of me to ever "think" that HE ever intended for me to do this life by myself.  This morning HE is showing me that when I rely on my own strength to deal with difficult circumstances, or difficult people, I fall short, and in falling short, I worry far too much about what other's will think of me.  

HE is telling me that I have been chosen specifically on purpose, made on purpose, for HIS purpose to be WHO HE has called, and has always intended for me to be.  This for me is overwhelming at times, as I struggle with understanding and fully grasping just how much HE loves me.  HE is letting me know that each time I seek HIM, HE will reveal HIS truth to me about HOW much HE truly does love me.

This morning in seeking HIS word, HE has lead me straight to WHO I am in showing me once again WHOSE I am.  Today HE is blessing me with HIS word in two different styles of writing, so that HIS truth will have a deep impact, and penetrate my heart so that the lies of the enemy will be rebuked, and I will be set free from the doubt, and fear of NOT being able to follow through with living my life that seems as a Tall Order for me to fulfill.

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love" Ephesians 1:4 NIV

"How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son." Ephesians 1:4 The Message Bible

Right now I as I am typing I am listening to our church's play list online and my new favorite song is playing.  This morning HIS word is filling my heart, and giving me HIS HOPE, that I can, and will be able to fulfill this Tall Order of life, as HE is there, leading me every single step of the way.  

"YOU have brought me back with the riches of YOUR amazing Grace and RELENTLESS love, I'm made alive forever with YOU life forever, by YOUR grace I'm SAVED."  "Made Alive" by Citizens

Today I am seeking HIM and HIS truth so that I won't be overwhelmed with what in my humanness I view as a Tall Order of living my life of Heather, CHRIST FOLLOWER as HE created me to be.  Today HIS truth is being spoken straight to my heart.  HE is telling me that I must NOT only know HIS truth, but choose to live out HIS truth, for other's to bear witness to.  This morning the Tall Order that I felt, is being shrunk down to grains of sand, when I gain HIS perspective of WHO HE is, and WHOSE I am.  Today I am feeling safe, and loved as I know that HE is there, HE is protecting me, and HE is leading me every single step of my journey towards wholeness with HIM.

HIS truth today is this:  HE chose me! ME, hott mess, broken, lost, always last to be thought of, no one ever wanted, selfish, overbearing, know it-all, too proud to seek help, sinner Heather. 

 HE calls me to be HOLY just as HE is HOLY.  HE is taking me from the broken hott mess that I once was, and transforming and renewing my heart and mind to know HIS truth so that I am able to join HIM in HIS Kingdom and be a part of ALL the good that HE is doing right now in not only my life, but in the lives that surround me. 

HE calls me to be set apart.  This for me is the biggest part of what I view as a Tall Order as I become extremely overwhelmed when I "feel" as if though I don't belong as I am NOT like most people.  So much in fact that I struggle to have close relationships with anyone other than my husband and five children.  

HE calls me to be blameless in HIS sight.  Through my humanness this is something I struggle with.  I am constantly wrestling with being blameless, and even though HE is showing me and teaching me everyday that even when I do mess up, HIS grace is there, and it covers ALL of my offenses.  

HE calls me to live with HIS JOY and PEACE as I am covered in HIS grace, and that no matter how much I fall short, HIS blessed assurance is there for me to receive.  I am learning I must open my crossed, selfish, too proud arms to receive HIS amazing grace.

HIS HOPE is in me.  On purpose for HIS purpose HE is revealing HIS truth on the lies that have wrecked my heart, soul, and mind.  One by one HE is peeling back the layers and shining HIS light on the darkness that hovers over me, and is filling me with HIS promises that HE will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.

HE loves me, and accepts me just the way I am.  So much in fact, that instead of hating WHO I am, I must rejoice that I am WHO I am, because of WHOSE I am.  What other's of this world view as weird or set apart is what makes me HOLY as HE is HOLY.  

HE is pleased with me, even in my imperfections, as they are HIS loving reminders of how much I need HIM.  In the times where I fall short, I must choose to rejoice as it is another stepping stone of learning of not ONLY knowing WHO HE is, but actually coming to KNOW HIM.

When I began my journey with HIM almost twelve years ago now, I never would have imagined that I would go from knowing of HIM, to knowing HIM.  However, through the past two years of purposely seeking HIM, HE is revealing to me HIS true character, and showing me and teaching me WHO I am called to be.  HE is teaching me that even though this world view being a CHRIST FOLLOWER as a Tall Order ALL things are truly possible through HIM, as HE is truly my STRENGTH!  

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

" I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

HIS final truth to me today is this:  HE is the ONE WHO separates WHO I am, from WHAT I do.  HE is telling me that though the world may only see my value based on what I do, my true value is found in HIM.  HE is wanting me to know that today it is HIS intention for me to let go of the Tall Order perspective that I have on my life, and seek HIM and allow HIS truth to flow in me and through me, so that I will be able to press on and press through each and every test, trial, and storm that I encounter.

My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS ~ It is my prayer today that my writings, the cries of my heart will speak straight to yours this morning.  I pray that you will know that just as HE is teaching me HIS truth, HE is waiting for you to wake up and realize that HE has been there all along and ready to reveal HIS truth by shining HIS light on the lies that have penetrated your heart for far too long.  I pray today that you will have the courage to seek HIM, and allow HIM to transform and renew your heart, and mind so that you too will be set free from your own prison without a key.  I pray today that HIS blessings and favor will be poured over you and in you as you will seek HIM, and receive HIS perspective that your Tall Order of life, is merely grains of sand. 

Much love, prayers, compassion, understanding, and blessings,

Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,

~ Heather 

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