Since losing my son, I have had this overwhelming desire to just buy my children things, my husband things, and well just anyone things really. In buying things, I have spent money that well we had set aside to spend, and truthfully money we didn't have to spend on things. This has always been one of my strongholds. So it is NO surprise to me that once again, I am finding myself in desperate need to break free from this stronghold, before it breaks me, and destroys me.
HIS Daily Teachings is capturing my heart once again and letting me know that my true treasure is in HEAVEN. HE is letting me know that since losing my son, I have been "trying" to fill this HUGE void in each of my families lives by buying them things, and gifting them things in abundance. This has created a HUGE mess of my families finances once again, and we are finding ourselves in the red again, and this to me is devastating as once again my strongholds are hurting our family. As if though we aren't hurting enough, I am causing more pain.
HE is wanting me to know that it has NEVER been HIS intention for me to "try" and make things better by gifting things to my family, rather that I would present everything of what I am wanting to do through pray and petition, and allow HIM to bless our family. HE is letting me know once again that in my grief, I am living this life right now as if my treasure is found in things, when really as I have learned, am learning, and will continue to learn my true treasure can only be FOUND in HIM, and that means that my true treasure is in HEAVEN.
" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
Yesterday my youngest daughter turned 10, and because it was her birthday, I had this overwhelming desire to make her day incredibly special. We started out day with latte's and donuts, and moved onto to shopping. At first I was very conscious of what we were spending, and was totaling it in my head. However, over time I got so caught up in her elation and happiness of what she was blessed with, that I took on this mindset that I was GOD, that I was able to make her pain stop for just one half of a second, and to me that made me crave even more, and in turn I gifted her more. In gifting her more, I unknowingly taught her that her treasure is found in things, when that couldn't be further from the truth. Sadly I have missed the mark in setting the best example for her and her sisters that our true treasure can only be found in HIM.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
HE has been teaching me this for quite some time now, and in losing my son, at first I "thought" I was freed from this stronghold, as when I first lost him, I didn't want anything but HIM, and I had zero desire to buy anything, or go anywhere or do anything. HE is letting me know that while that may have been true at first, as the weeks have passed, as tomorrow marks the 8th week without our precious little boy, I am finding myself more and more restless, and my need to be in control, to "try" and generate happiness, JOY, and elation in myself, and my family, I have really placed undue stress on each of us once again.
This pains me, as the last thing I want to do is hurt my family, or myself anymore than we are already hurting. I am struggling so much with this, as my son's birthday in on the 19th and we are having a party for him. While I have been "trying" to stick tight to my budget for his birthday, my overwhelming desire and need to generate happiness, JOY, and elation has taken over, and in turn, has kept me from teaching my children about what our true treasure is, and that is HIM, HE is our true treasure.
HE is reminding me once again that HE knows my heart, and knows how badly I am hurting for me, and for my children. HE is wanting me to know that NOTHING has gotten past HIM, nothing eludes HIM from SEEING how badly we are grieving, and HE wants NOTHING more than to bless us. HE is telling me that I must choose to let go of my need and desire to do things on my own, and seek HIM, and SEE that HE will uphold HIS promise to me, that HE will meet my every need in ABUNDANCE. This means even my need and desire to bless my children, my family, my friends.
" And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
Today HE is wanting me to shift my focus off of me, and onto HIM, and seek HIM and ask HIM, "LORD how can I be a blessing today?" In doing so, HE is telling me that my control-freak self needs to be patient and wait on HIS timing, and STOP trying to force my hand in being a blessing.
"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age" Titus 2:11-12
HE is reminding me once again that even though I "think" I am here living, and "trying" to navigate this life that I am living, I must remember that I, Heather am NEVER alone, that HE is always with me. I must remember that HE is SOVEREIGN, and that means that I NEVER need to worry about how to provide for my family, that NOT just in their needs, but also to meet their wants. HE is asking me to TRUST HIM completely, by choosing to surrender ALL control of doing, rather just waiting, and just being.
" Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" Matthew 6:25
"But you, Sovereign Lord, help me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me." Psalm 109:21
Today HE is wanting me to focus on HIS word, that is HIS promise to me, that NEVER do I need to think that in order to be a blessing, I have to find the need, and then figure out how I am going to fulfill that need. HE is wanting me to know that in my desire to fill this void, all I need to do is seek HIM and ask HIM how I can be a blessing. HE is letting me know that until I do just that, I won't be showing HIM, or living my life for other's to SEE that my true treasure is really in HEAVEN. HE is wanting me to know that in order for people to SEE HIM in me, I must choose to let go of living in my KINGDOM, and start living in HIS KINGDOM and that means I am to STOP "trying" to control everything, and getting caught up in world views that stuff will make us happy.
"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
HE is wanting me to know that this does NOT mean that HE doesn't want me to bless people with things, rather HE wants me to know and understand that the only way I can truly be a blessing to someone, without being a burden for myself and my family, is by choosing to seek HIM, and ask HIM to show me ways to be a blessing, so that I will be living my life according to HIS will, and so that I will know that my true treasure can only be found in HIM.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
HE is wanting me to know that in my overwhelming desire to generate happiness, JOY, and elation for celebrating Christmas without our sweet little boy, I have missed out on HIS greatest gift and that is that all I could ever want, or ever need can only be found in HIM. HE is reminding me once again that though my hopes, dreams and desires have ended for my son, I still have four of HIS children to teach, train up, and model FAITHFULNESS of what it truly means to lean in, press in, to HIM, and wait on HIS timing, and HIS provision. HE is reminding me once again that I, Heather, Mama to five of HIS amazingly precious children have been entrusted to care for, and raise them. HE is wanting me to know that in knowing that they are HIS, just as I am HIS, I need NOT to worry about how I will provide, rather that I will trust that because we are HIS, HE will provide for our every need.
" And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
HE is telling me that in living my life out in this way for my children to SEE, that is when I will be teaching them that their true treasure can only be found in HIM. HE is wanting me to know that HE cares so deeply for me, that HE doesn't want me to keep self-destructing, and unknowingly teaching my children to self-destruct, that HE will keep relentlessly pursuing my heart, to ensure that I understand that the only treasure that I am searching for, can be found in HIM.
" Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God,who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." 1 Timothy 6:17-19
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, if you too are struggling with the "stuff" monster, stronghold in your heart, I pray today that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to set you free from that very stronghold. I pray that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to meet all of your needs, and that you will have the courage to wait patiently for HIS timing and HIS provision for your needs. I pray that HE will meet your needs in abundance, that you will be blown away with HIS goodness and mercy as HE continues to show you just how much HE loves you. I pray that as each day passes you will be able to SEE more of HIM in every single detail of your life, and SEE that HE truly does love and care for you, so that when you are in need, or know someone in need, that you will know and TRUST that HE will meet your needs, and their needs in abundance. I pray that today is the day that you will choose to say, "no matter what this life may offer, my true treasure can only be found in HIM." I pray that you will know that you are NEVER alone, that HE knows your struggles, knows your heart, your desires, and your wants, ALL of it HE cares for, as HE cares deeply for you. I pray today that you will know and RECEIVE HIM as your LORD and SAVIOR, so that HE can begin to teach you just how deeply loved you are by HIM.
Much love, prayers, compassion, understanding, and always grace,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
HIS Daily Teachings is capturing my heart once again and letting me know that my true treasure is in HEAVEN. HE is letting me know that since losing my son, I have been "trying" to fill this HUGE void in each of my families lives by buying them things, and gifting them things in abundance. This has created a HUGE mess of my families finances once again, and we are finding ourselves in the red again, and this to me is devastating as once again my strongholds are hurting our family. As if though we aren't hurting enough, I am causing more pain.
HE is wanting me to know that it has NEVER been HIS intention for me to "try" and make things better by gifting things to my family, rather that I would present everything of what I am wanting to do through pray and petition, and allow HIM to bless our family. HE is letting me know once again that in my grief, I am living this life right now as if my treasure is found in things, when really as I have learned, am learning, and will continue to learn my true treasure can only be FOUND in HIM, and that means that my true treasure is in HEAVEN.
" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
Yesterday my youngest daughter turned 10, and because it was her birthday, I had this overwhelming desire to make her day incredibly special. We started out day with latte's and donuts, and moved onto to shopping. At first I was very conscious of what we were spending, and was totaling it in my head. However, over time I got so caught up in her elation and happiness of what she was blessed with, that I took on this mindset that I was GOD, that I was able to make her pain stop for just one half of a second, and to me that made me crave even more, and in turn I gifted her more. In gifting her more, I unknowingly taught her that her treasure is found in things, when that couldn't be further from the truth. Sadly I have missed the mark in setting the best example for her and her sisters that our true treasure can only be found in HIM.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21
HE has been teaching me this for quite some time now, and in losing my son, at first I "thought" I was freed from this stronghold, as when I first lost him, I didn't want anything but HIM, and I had zero desire to buy anything, or go anywhere or do anything. HE is letting me know that while that may have been true at first, as the weeks have passed, as tomorrow marks the 8th week without our precious little boy, I am finding myself more and more restless, and my need to be in control, to "try" and generate happiness, JOY, and elation in myself, and my family, I have really placed undue stress on each of us once again.
This pains me, as the last thing I want to do is hurt my family, or myself anymore than we are already hurting. I am struggling so much with this, as my son's birthday in on the 19th and we are having a party for him. While I have been "trying" to stick tight to my budget for his birthday, my overwhelming desire and need to generate happiness, JOY, and elation has taken over, and in turn, has kept me from teaching my children about what our true treasure is, and that is HIM, HE is our true treasure.
HE is reminding me once again that HE knows my heart, and knows how badly I am hurting for me, and for my children. HE is wanting me to know that NOTHING has gotten past HIM, nothing eludes HIM from SEEING how badly we are grieving, and HE wants NOTHING more than to bless us. HE is telling me that I must choose to let go of my need and desire to do things on my own, and seek HIM, and SEE that HE will uphold HIS promise to me, that HE will meet my every need in ABUNDANCE. This means even my need and desire to bless my children, my family, my friends.
" And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
Today HE is wanting me to shift my focus off of me, and onto HIM, and seek HIM and ask HIM, "LORD how can I be a blessing today?" In doing so, HE is telling me that my control-freak self needs to be patient and wait on HIS timing, and STOP trying to force my hand in being a blessing.
"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age" Titus 2:11-12
HE is reminding me once again that even though I "think" I am here living, and "trying" to navigate this life that I am living, I must remember that I, Heather am NEVER alone, that HE is always with me. I must remember that HE is SOVEREIGN, and that means that I NEVER need to worry about how to provide for my family, that NOT just in their needs, but also to meet their wants. HE is asking me to TRUST HIM completely, by choosing to surrender ALL control of doing, rather just waiting, and just being.
" Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" Matthew 6:25
"But you, Sovereign Lord, help me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me." Psalm 109:21
Today HE is wanting me to focus on HIS word, that is HIS promise to me, that NEVER do I need to think that in order to be a blessing, I have to find the need, and then figure out how I am going to fulfill that need. HE is wanting me to know that in my desire to fill this void, all I need to do is seek HIM and ask HIM how I can be a blessing. HE is letting me know that until I do just that, I won't be showing HIM, or living my life for other's to SEE that my true treasure is really in HEAVEN. HE is wanting me to know that in order for people to SEE HIM in me, I must choose to let go of living in my KINGDOM, and start living in HIS KINGDOM and that means I am to STOP "trying" to control everything, and getting caught up in world views that stuff will make us happy.
"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
HE is wanting me to know that this does NOT mean that HE doesn't want me to bless people with things, rather HE wants me to know and understand that the only way I can truly be a blessing to someone, without being a burden for myself and my family, is by choosing to seek HIM, and ask HIM to show me ways to be a blessing, so that I will be living my life according to HIS will, and so that I will know that my true treasure can only be found in HIM.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
HE is wanting me to know that in my overwhelming desire to generate happiness, JOY, and elation for celebrating Christmas without our sweet little boy, I have missed out on HIS greatest gift and that is that all I could ever want, or ever need can only be found in HIM. HE is reminding me once again that though my hopes, dreams and desires have ended for my son, I still have four of HIS children to teach, train up, and model FAITHFULNESS of what it truly means to lean in, press in, to HIM, and wait on HIS timing, and HIS provision. HE is reminding me once again that I, Heather, Mama to five of HIS amazingly precious children have been entrusted to care for, and raise them. HE is wanting me to know that in knowing that they are HIS, just as I am HIS, I need NOT to worry about how I will provide, rather that I will trust that because we are HIS, HE will provide for our every need.
" And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
HE is telling me that in living my life out in this way for my children to SEE, that is when I will be teaching them that their true treasure can only be found in HIM. HE is wanting me to know that HE cares so deeply for me, that HE doesn't want me to keep self-destructing, and unknowingly teaching my children to self-destruct, that HE will keep relentlessly pursuing my heart, to ensure that I understand that the only treasure that I am searching for, can be found in HIM.
" Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God,who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." 1 Timothy 6:17-19
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, if you too are struggling with the "stuff" monster, stronghold in your heart, I pray today that you will seek HIM, and ask HIM to set you free from that very stronghold. I pray that you will seek HIM and ask HIM to meet all of your needs, and that you will have the courage to wait patiently for HIS timing and HIS provision for your needs. I pray that HE will meet your needs in abundance, that you will be blown away with HIS goodness and mercy as HE continues to show you just how much HE loves you. I pray that as each day passes you will be able to SEE more of HIM in every single detail of your life, and SEE that HE truly does love and care for you, so that when you are in need, or know someone in need, that you will know and TRUST that HE will meet your needs, and their needs in abundance. I pray that today is the day that you will choose to say, "no matter what this life may offer, my true treasure can only be found in HIM." I pray that you will know that you are NEVER alone, that HE knows your struggles, knows your heart, your desires, and your wants, ALL of it HE cares for, as HE cares deeply for you. I pray today that you will know and RECEIVE HIM as your LORD and SAVIOR, so that HE can begin to teach you just how deeply loved you are by HIM.
Much love, prayers, compassion, understanding, and always grace,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,
~ Heather
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