HIS Daily Teachings is capturing my heart once again and letting me know that my true treasure is in HEAVEN. HE is letting me know that since losing my son, I have been "trying" to fill this HUGE void in each of my families lives by buying them things, and gifting them things in abundance. This has created a HUGE mess of my families finances once again, and we are finding ourselves in the red again, and this to me is devastating as once again my strongholds are hurting our family. As if though we aren't hurting enough, I am causing more pain.
HE is wanting me to know that it has NEVER been HIS intention for me to "try" and make things better by gifting things to my family, rather that I would present everything of what I am wanting to do through pray and petition, and allow HIM to bless our family. HE is letting me know once again that in my grief, I am living this life right now as if my treasure is found in things, when really as I have learned, am learning, and will continue to learn my true treasure can only be FOUND in HIM, and that means that my true treasure is in HEAVEN.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6
Yesterday my youngest daughter turned 10, and because it was her birthday, I had this overwhelming desire to make her day incredibly special. We started out day with latte's and donuts, and moved onto to shopping. At first I was very conscious of what we were spending, and was totaling it in my head. However, over time I got so caught up in her elation and happiness of what she was blessed with, that I took on this mindset that I was GOD, that I was able to make her pain stop for just one half of a second, and to me that made me crave even more, and in turn I gifted her more. In gifting her more, I unknowingly taught her that her treasure is found in things, when that couldn't be further from the truth. Sadly I have missed the mark in setting the best example for her and her sisters that our true treasure can only be found in HIM.
This pains me, as the last thing I want to do is hurt my family, or myself anymore than we are already hurting. I am struggling so much with this, as my son's birthday in on the 19th and we are having a party for him. While I have been "trying" to stick tight to my budget for his birthday, my overwhelming desire and need to generate happiness, JOY, and elation has taken over, and in turn, has kept me from teaching my children about what our true treasure is, and that is HIM, HE is our true treasure.
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" Matthew 6:25
"But you, Sovereign ,
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
HE is wanting me to know that in my overwhelming desire to generate happiness, JOY, and elation for celebrating Christmas without our sweet little boy, I have missed out on HIS greatest gift and that is that all I could ever want, or ever need can only be found in HIM. HE is reminding me once again that though my hopes, dreams and desires have ended for my son, I still have four of HIS children to teach, train up, and model FAITHFULNESS of what it truly means to lean in, press in, to HIM, and wait on HIS timing, and HIS provision. HE is reminding me once again that I, Heather, Mama to five of HIS amazingly precious children have been entrusted to care for, and raise them. HE is wanting me to know that in knowing that they are HIS, just as I am HIS, I need NOT to worry about how I will provide, rather that I will trust that because we are HIS, HE will provide for our every need.
"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
HE is telling me that in living my life out in this way for my children to SEE, that is when I will be teaching them that their true treasure can only be found in HIM. HE is wanting me to know that HE cares so deeply for me, that HE doesn't want me to keep self-destructing, and unknowingly teaching my children to self-destruct, that HE will keep relentlessly pursuing my heart, to ensure that I understand that the only treasure that I am searching for, can be found in HIM.
"Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ." 1 Corinthians 11:1