Monday, August 12, 2013

darkest hours....

I have lived through many "dark hours" of when I sobbed in agony, for the pain I was enduring was unbearable. When I became I CHRIST follower and found myself in yet another "dark hour" I would beg GOD to change the circumstances of my life.  I would beg HIM to release me from the burden I was carrying.  Thankfully GOD was always there to rescue me and fill me with HIS hope, and renew my faith in HIM.  I know that I got through my "darkest hours" as HE was the source of my strength.  HE was the light for my path.  I know that I was able to "endure" the storms of my life because HE was, is and always will be with me always.

It is no coincidence "Always" by Hillsong is one of my favorite songs.   When I first heard it, I was in awe that it gave words to how I felt about my SAVIOR.  Often times when I find myself in my "darkest hours" I sing this part of the song: "Breathe on me, let me see YOUR face.  Ever I will seek YOU.  Cause all YOU are, is all I want always.  Draw me close in YOUR arms, OH GOD, I wanna be with YOU."

I know that without my SAVIOR I would not be where I am today.  Which for me is alive and breathing.  I know that had I not turned to HIM when I did, I wouldn't have made it even another week in this life.  I will be eternally thankful that HE rescued me at the time of my life that HE did.  HE rescued me in one of my "darkest hours" and has ever since.

For the past 10 years, I have endured many storms where I wasn't sure if I would survive.  I couldn't see beyond the struggle and the horrific pain I was enduring, but through it all HE has let me know that I was never alone.

I believe that HE speaks to me through songs, and books as HE knows how to capture my heart, each and every time.  "One Touch" by Fellowship Church speaks to my heart whenever I think back to my 1st moment of rescue.  "Just One Touch , Can Heal This Life, And Change It For Forever, Just One Touch, And Just One Touch, Can Calm This Storm, And Tell My Soul Be Still, Just One Touch, So Mercifully Come To Our Rescue, Heavenly Father We Need You, We Are Nothing Without You Lord. So I'm Reaching For Your Hands, That Wondrously Reached For Me, You Wondrously Reach For Me Jesus!!!"  I know that had I not received HIS one touch I would not be where I am today.  I know that I would not be a Mama to 5 of HIS amazing children.  I would not be D's wife for almost 15 years now.  I would have missed out on the last 10 years of blood, sweat, and tears, all of which I did not have to "endure" by myself.  10 years of being in some the of the "darkest hours" of my life, hours where HE was always near to me.  Hours where HE sought after my heart, and rescued me time and again, and renewed and refined my heart each time.

I know that when the waters rise, and storms of my life hit, and I find myself in yet another "dark hour" I know that HE is my rock.  I know that HE is my strength, and HE is my light.  I know that with HIM I have nothing to fear.  I know that because HE is my rock, I will not be afraid as HE is always with me.

I learned a long time ago, never to plan on "my plans."  Rather I must let HIM teach, lead, and guide me, as HIS plans are the only plans that are best for me.  This morning GOD reminded me that when all seems lost HE will help me stay the course of the path that HE has chosen for me.  HE let me know that HE is sustaining me as always, and is rebuilding me.  HE is with me and all HE is asking me to do is put one foot in front of the other, TRUST HIM, and take it one day at a time.  HE let me know that together HE will lead me through my "darkest hour."

As I read Bill Hybels words in "Whispers" this morning, it gave me such peace in knowing that my Heavenly Father knows and love me so much, and knows exactly what I am needed to hear, at the exact time I am ready to hear it.  "You know that  under pressure your faith-life is forced into the open and shows it true colors."  I know that no matter what I may be facing, I must stay strong in my faith, as it is through my faith in HIM that HE will light the way through my "darkest hour."  I know that HE is asking me to keep hopeful that HIM testing and stretching my faith is for my own good.  I know because I trust HIM that HE will make all things work together for my own good.  HE will give me everything and anything that I am need of to allow my faith to grow in HIM.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

This morning, I was reminded as I am in yet another "dark hour" of my life in "waiting" for HIM.  I am struggling with keeping hope, and faith in the situation that I am facing.  I in my humanness and anxiety have tried forcing my hand in the situation, and GOD has let me know that HE is not letting me take the easy route  HE is continuing to grow my faith in HIM, as it is all a part of creating me to be the Woman of GOD that HE is calling me to be.  I know that HE has caught every single one of my tears, and has heard everyone of my cries, and loves me enough to let me know that HE cares, and HE loves me.  HE is filling me with HIS word every day for the past 87 days to prepare me for this season of "waiting" that I am in.  

I know that through my "darkest hours" GOD wants me to cling to these three truths:

#!  ~ GOD is near!  

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me,your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139:7-10  

"When I am in a dark hallway GOD says, "I am going to be near to you so that you don't face the darkness alone." Bill Hybels "Whisper.

#2 ~ GOD seeks! Not only is HE near, HE actively seeks me out!  

"They will be called the Holy People,the Redeemed of the Lord;and you will be called Sought After,the City No Longer Deserted." Isaiah 62:12

I know that HE seeks me out to encourage me to keep going and move ahead to be able to truly live the life HE has chosen for me.  I must be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  HE has let me know that HE has good plans for me to accomplish, so I must follow HIM.

"When life knocks us flat on the mat, we can hop back up, remember that our strength comes from HIM and we are to get busy doing some kingdom building good." 

#3 ~ GOD speaks!  Through HIS "whispers" I receive HIS words of comfort, insight, and peace.  
In "Come Be My Light" Mother Theresa wrote during her "darkest hours."  She wrote, "Even though I don't feel HIS presence, I will seek to love HIM as HE has never been loved."  As I read that this morning, I thought, "Wow even Mother Theresa when through "dark hours" where she didn't feel HIM near, but she knew HE was near.  I am so thankful for HIS loving reminder that I am never alone.

"Chains of anxiety need not bind us when freedom is ours to claim."

"The GOD who is near to you, the GOD who actively seeks you out -- this GOD "Whispers" light into YOUR darkest night."

I pray today that if you are in one of your "darkest hours" that you will cling to the one who knows and loves you best.  I pray that you will put all your hope, faith, and trust in HIM, and let HIM teach, lead, and guide you through every moment of your life today.  I pray that HE will fill you with HIS peace that surpasses anything of this world.  I pray that you will know that is in your "darkest hours" that HE is your everlasting light!


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