I know that GOD is always looking for ways to humble me. Today He revealed that if I am not letting HIM humble me, then I am heading down a dangerous path of self-destruction, and am allowing myself to be full of arrogance and self-righteousness. That very thought, scares me, as my testimony is filled with moments where my pride nearly destroyed me.
I have been deceived by pride, as I always "thought" I didn't have a pride problem, because I had low self-esteem. Today however, HE revealed this little gem to me: "pride is actually the opposite of humility." HE let me know that my low self-esteem has masked my pride problem, and if I didn't realize that, and allow HIM to set me free from that, I would eventually self-destruct once again.
GOD has let me know that my pride is the "welcome mat to my own prison" I know that in choosing to not allow HIM to humble me, I will remain bound in every area of my life that I don't allow HIM to humble me. HE has let me know that until I allow HIM to humble me, I won't be able to break-free from the stronghold of pride in my life.
GOD revealed to me this morning that just by reading the book "Praying GOD'S Word" I am admitting that I need HIS help. I am learning that just by reading this book I am inviting HIM into my life to humble me. In choosing to invite HIM in, I was saying, "I'm not too proud to say I need help."
Now as nice as it is to know that, I wish that were the case for every area of my life. Sadly that is NOT the case, and I mess up daily because of it. Beth Moore write's of her pride struggle and shares what GOD revealed to her. Today GOD broke it down for me, piece by piece, and showed me just how much I had let pride sink into my heart, and my thoughts.
"My name is pride, I am a cheater. I cheat you of your GOD given destiny.... because you demand your own way. ~ How many times I can look back on my life, and see where I missed out, because I chose to do things "my way" instead of "HIS way." How many times I must have insulted HIM in saying, "Sorry GOD I don't trust YOU, I'm looking out for me!" That very thought..... makes me cringe.... makes me cry, and repent, and say, "I'm sorry JESUS, please forgive me... I need YOU every hour of every minute, of every second, of every single moment of my life."
"I cheat you of contentment.... because you deserve better than this." ~ This really hit home to me this morning, as I am always thinking that either myself, or someone close to me deserves better, or more. What I fail to realize is that maybe the situation I am in, is to prepare me for the greater blessing. I am learning that I won't be able to truly appreciate HIS blessings in my life, until I allow HIM to humble me. LORD JESUS create in my a content heart. Teach me LORD to trust in YOUR ways for my life."
"I cheat you of knowledge.... because you already know it all." ~ Okay, so I am am completely red-faced at the thought of this one, because clearly as you have read, I do NOT know it all, and if I ever act like I am, well I am so deeply sorry. I don't know anything without HIM. I don't know how to get through my day without HIM. The ugly truth is without HIS knowledge in my life, I am a bitter, stressed out, angry, unloving, selfish, self-absorbed, shameful, prideful person. This includes my life as a wife, mama, daughter, sister, friend, companion, the list goes on and on. I am a hateful person without HIS knowledge. This very revelation to me has brought me to my knees.... LORD JESUS I need YOU!!! I need YOU to fill me with YOUR knowledge and YOUR ways. I need YOU to create in me a humbled servant's heart, one that is open to YOUR teachings every single day. LORD please help me to keep my eyes focused on YOU, and off of me, myself, and I.
"I cheat you of healing... because your too full of me to forgive." ~ Through the tests of forgiveness in my life, I have learned that HE won't be able to truly heal me until, I let go of the incessant need for justice in my life. I have learned that forgiveness isn't saying that what a person did to hurt me was okay, rather it is freeing me from the hurt in my heart, and healing me from their hurts. I once read that "hurting people, are the ones who hurt people." LORD JESUS help me to discern when someone is hurting. Teach me to be quick to forgive, and quick to love, just as YOU love. Teach me to know that YOUR timing and provision are perfect, and YOUR justice is perfect. Teach me LORD to stay on the path that YOU have chosen for me, and humble me when I "think" I am above forgiveness when someone has wronged me.
"I cheat you of holiness.... because you refuse to admit when you are wrong." ~ Wow, this was so written for me! How many times I have refused to say I am wrong about something, because I felt tired of always being the one who takes the "first steps." What HE has revealed to me today is that I should be honored that HIS SPIRIT is in me, and leading me to take the "first steps." I am learning that it is because of my faith that I am opening myself up to great blessing through my obedience. I must choose to admit when I am wrong. LORD JESUS create in me a humbled servant's heart. A heart that doesn't point out the blame in other's lives, but rather one who is humbled at the very word YOU speak to me of admitting I am wrong. Help me not to question YOU LORD. Create in me an ear like Samuel's ear LORD, one who is quick to answer YOUR call, and to obey THEE first of all!
"I cheat you of vision... because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window." ~ LORD JESUS give me YOUR eyes so I can see everything that I have been missing in my life. LORD give me YOUR eyes, so that I may see the world as YOU see it. LORD JESUS create in my a desire to follow YOU and YOUR ways all the days of my life.
"I cheat you of genuine friendship.... because nobody's going to know the real you." ~ The people who know the "real" me know that I am not perfect. I don't ever claim to be perfect, and know that I mess up on a daily basis. I think that is why HIS Daily Teachings have become to crucial in my daily walk with HIM. I made a decision a while ago that the friendships that I would have in my life would be intentional. I made the decision that the people I would allow in my inner circle, would know and see the real me. What's ironic to me, is that I have always been a pretty private person, and not wanting to share my faults, and failure's however GOD'S sense of humor is humbling me as we speak, as each day HIS Daily Teachings is asking me to be transparent. HE has shown this to me, through many letters, and messages from so many of the blogs readers of how much they appreciate my openness in sharing what has happened in my life, and how candid I am in my writings.
"I cheat you of love.... because real romance demands sacrifice." ~ I am beyond blessed to be married to my best friend for almost 15 years now. I am thankful that GOD started our "love story" 18 years ago, when we were both so young and naive. I am so thankful that GOD has created a desire in both of our hearts, to live each day as a chance to bless one another. I am thankful that just as I would do whatever I could to support D in HIS walk, he will do the same for me. I am thankful that instead of throwing in the towel when things got tough, and boy did they ever, we stuck it out together. We dug deep into our faith, and held onto the anchor in our marriage. We turned to HIM, and allowed HIM to transform and renew our hearts. I am thankful that each day we keep JESUS at the center of our marriage. I am thankful that everyday we are given the chance to be humbled in finding new ways to honor and love each other.
"I cheat you of greatness in heaven.... because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth." ~ I love serving at my church, but that wasn't always the case. I used to "think" that I didn't need to serve, as I was a very needy person. I lived my life as though, "I have been hurt, and therefore people should feel sorry for me, and I deserve the star treatment, as I am awesome to have endured what I did, and lived to tell about it. Ouch, just writing that makes me cringe.... I can't even begin to tell you just how much HE has humbled me in my thinking. I can't begin to tell you the journey I took with HIM, and am currently still on in HIM humbling me, and let me know it's not about me, and my neediness. HE is revealing to me every day that it is about sharing HIS word, love, hope, grace, and forgiveness. It is all about HIM, and has nothing to do with me. I am thankful that I serve at a church where one of our sayings is, "There is no "I" chair at Elevate Church." I am so thankful for HIS daily teachings to remind me that it's not about me, it's all about HIM.
"I cheat you of GOD'S glory.... because I convince you to seek your own." ~ I will admit that there were a few days where I wrote this blog simply because I enjoyed the feeling of being liked. However, HE quickly revealed to me, and brought me to my knees and humbled me that it is all for HIS glory and NOT mine. HE has let me know that any time I start to get full of myself, HE can, will, and does humble me! LORD JESUS, help me to stay focused on what YOU call me to do. Help me to stay out of YOUR way, and get my eyes, and mind focused on what YOU are teaching me everyday. LORD JESUS thank YOU for choosing me to share YOUR word daily. Thank you for filling me with YOUR HOLY SPIRIT and for giving me YOUR words to say.
"My name is pride, I am a cheater, You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue"
"I am looking to make a fool of you"
"GOD has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry..... If you stick with me you'll never know." ~ Oh LORD JESUS I want to know all of YOU, I want to know everything about YOU. I want to live my life in a way that is good, pleasing, and honoring to YOU! I need YOU LORD to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my day.
" I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze." Leviticus 26:19
I must continue to seek HIM earnestly every day so that I will learn to respect HIS word.
"Who is it you have ridiculed and blasphemed? Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes in pride? Against the Holy One of Israel!" 2 Kings 19:22
I must allow HIM to humble me, and break me free from the pride in my life. I must choose to not let myself be deceived by pride, and allow my pride to be my downfall.
" Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the Lord’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah." 2 Chronicles 32:26
I know that there is NO room in my thoughts for pride. I must align my thoughts to HIS so that HE can lead me down the path that HE has chosen for my journey towards wholeness. I must admit that I need HIM, always, every single moment of my day.
"In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;in all his thoughts there is no room for God." Psalm 10:4
I have a tendency to fly off the handle when I full of pride, and I hurt people who come across my path. Therefore, I must choose to be humbled, and not let myself be deceived by pride.
"Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence." Psalm 73:6
I must allow HIM to create in me a healthy fear of HIM. One that abolishes my pride and arrogance.
To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech." Proverbs 8:13
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Psalm 11:2
I am learning that it is crucial for me to let go of my incessant need to be right, and not argue with people. I am learning that the only thing arguing does for me is create disgrace in HIS eyes. In choosing NOT to be humbled, I am distancing myself from HIM, and I am allowing myself once again to be deceived by pride.
I pray today that you will seek HIM earnestly and let HIM reveal to you how you are being deceived by pride. I pray today that your eye's and heart will be open to HIS Daily Teachings, and that you will allow HIM to transform and renew your heart. I pray today that you will follow HIS path for your life, and will allow HIM to humble you so that you may live with true peace and joy in your heart. A peace that surpasses anything of this world.