Monday, August 26, 2013

"emotionally fed"

It is no secret that I have always struggled with my weight.  I have since I was a little girl.  From very early on I was "emotionally fed."  Meaning when I was happy, I ate, when I was sad, I ate.  Whether I was hungry or not, based upon my emotions is when I decided I would eat.  So naturally being "emotionally fed," one could see that I ate all of the time.

I was very sneaky as a young girl in getting food, as I was manipulated and controlled so fiercely about what I could and couldn't do.  Eating was one thing that they couldn't control, and when they tried, I just became very sneaky.  I over indulged in most everything that I loved.  My favorite things to eat as a young girl were Oatmeal Cream Pie's,  and Peanut Butter Twix's.  You know how you used to be able to buy a huge box?  Well I would consume an entire box in one sitting.  I didn't just eat because I was hungry, I ate because I was "emotionally fed."

This morning I woke up to a HUGE stomach ache from over indulging last night from my choices of food consumption.  HIS Daily Teachings today was a wake-up call for me as it was talking about "Overcoming Food-related Strongholds."  As I sat on my living room couch this morning with pen and paper in hand, I quickly realized that this pain was not going to subside.  I sensed that it was far more than just my over indulging last night.  No, it went way beyond what I "thought" and after going back to bed for a few hours, I woke up ready to hear HIS word.

GOD wanted me to know this morning that HE created me to be whole in my body, soul, and spirit.  HE wanted me to know that I must realize that HE is the GOD of all three parts of me.  HE let me know that until I do understand that,  I will continue to struggle and live with defeat in my life in the areas that have me kept in bondage.  HE has let me know that until I let go.... I will struggle.

Throughout HIS Daily Teachings today HE showed me in HIS words what I must meditate on daily to be free of my stronghold of being "emotionally fed."

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

HE has let me know today that HE is faithful!  HE has let me know that because HE is faithful, HE can, will, and does, EVERYTHING HE says HE will do!  HE let me know that it is HE HIMSELF who is working in me and through me.  HE reminded me that it is HE who is involved in every single area of me.  HE is the one who needs to be in control of my body, soul, and spirit.

HE has let me know that HE is the GOD of peace.  I tend to forget that when I am being "emotionally fed" and find myself trying to fill a void in my life that I know only HE can fill.  

Beth Moore writes: "The word of GOD is perfectly inspired, therefore, every identification of GOD, every name HE is called, is in perfect context."

I know that I must surrender all of me which includes my body, soul, and spirit to HIS wise, loving, and liberating authority.  I am learning that until I surrender in all three of these areas in my life I will not have true peace.

"Peace is the fruit of authority."  "GOD'S authority"

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful."

I know that as a CHRIST follower I am called to surrender my ways and be set apart from the ways of this world.  I am to live in HIS ways and allow HIS HOLY SPIRIT to teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my day.

GOD has lovingly reminded me of this through many songs of worship that I sing at home, while driving, and at church.  One song in particular really caught my attention in what I believe to be HIS whisper to me about surrender is by Hillsong United titled: "Like an Avalanche"  I remember hearing it for the first time at church, and not really understanding what it meant.  I was probably in my 60th day of seeking HIM earnestly, and still wasn't quite sure what it was that HE was wanting from me.  I foolishly thought I was just supposed to write a blog everyday about what HE was teaching me, but soon there after HE revealed to me just what the lyrics truly meant.

I was excited the following week when I heard the song again, and this time I was able to throw my hands in the air and sing loud without hesitation these lyrics: "Take my life, take all that I am, With all that I am, I will love You, Take my heart, take all that I have, Jesus, how I adore You"  I remember the tears streaming down my face, when for the first time I truly was surrendering in that very moment to the ONE who knows me and loves me best.  I was surrendering "my ways" so that "HIS ways" could become my life.  
HE has let me know that anything that is for HIS glory, is good for me! 

HE so lovingly reminded me this morning that my body is not my own, but is rather a holy temple that HE created just for me.  HE let me know that when I don't take care of my body, it hurts HIM.  I in my humanness forget that and get so wrapped up in all of my emotions in "trying" to make myself feel better, when really HE wants me to run straight into HIS arms.  HE is waiting for me to surrender.  I must surrender the incessant "need" I have to be "emotionally fed," and allow myself to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own" 1 Corinthians 6:19

I am learning that though my feelings and personality were given to me by HIM, they are NOT meant to control me.  HE is teaching me that my physical body is a gift from HIM.  HE reminded me of that in HIS word this morning.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

Today HE has revealed to me that the only way I will live in complete victory is when I choose to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  I know I was created in HIS image, therefore I must allow HIS HOLY SPIRIT to lead me.

"So God created mankind in his own image,in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

"You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ." Romans 8:9

I take great comfort in knowing that when I was baptized and received JESUS as my Savior, it was then that HIS HOLY SPIRIT took up residency inside of me.  I never quite understood what that meant until about 3 years ago when I heard Bruce Wilkinson speak about his book, "You Were Born for This."  GOD knew that it would take me sitting there in Northwoods Community Church and seeing a visual teaching of just how HIS HOLY SPIRIT works within me and through me.  I left church that day with a greater understanding of just what happens not only to me, but to HIM when I sin.  I left with an understanding of just how important is was to think of HIM, and how the choices that I make affect HIM.   Clearly though as today's teaching will show you, I don't understand everything.  Clearly I need to be reminded daily, and need to be taught time and again what it is that HE wants from me.

Today I am thankful to have a Savior who seeks after me daily, that is waiting for me to open my eyes and ears to HIS Daily Teachings every morning.  I am thankful to know that HIS mercies are new every morning, and that even though I messed up terribly the day before that when I confess, and repent I am forgiven.  I am thankful that through each day of HIS Daily Teachings I am finding myself more and more dependent on HIM.  HE has let me know that through each day that I take away HIS teachings and apply them to my life, the stronger my faith and belief in HIM are becoming.

"But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit." 1 Corinthians 6:17

I take great comfort in these words this morning: "A huge part of wholeness in the life of a believer is when GOD has been allowed to sanctify (take over, and set apart) our whole spirit, soul, and body." I am thankful that I am on this journey towards wholeness with HIM leading me.  As I can't imagine trying to navigate this life all on my own.  I am thankful that one day I will reach the end of my journey, and I will be made whole.  I know that I will be made whole because of my obedience, and self discipline, and letting go.... and letting GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT teach, lead, and guide me every single moment of my life.

So today in my struggle to let go of being "emotionally fed," I am choosing to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  I am going to think about the food that I am putting into my body, and I am thinking about how it will fuel my body.  Today I am letting go of foolish ways of "thinking" I can do anything within my own strength, as I know that my strength can only come from HIM.

"If a man could truly subdue all of his fleshly appetites by the pure power of his own determination, he would simply worship his own will."

HE is telling me that HIS word is about HIS will and HIS will only.  I am learning that GOD will never allow my continued success through my own fleshly determination.  I am learning that I must call on HIM, seek HIM earnestly and ask HIM to give me the strength to break free from my stronghold of being "emotionally fed."

I must say NO to the flesh, and YES to HIM!

HE is letting me know that though I may be able to do things "my way" for a little while.  I am sure to know that failure is imminent when I rely on only myself for strength.  HE is telling me that I must surrender.

"Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:  “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." Colossians 2:20-23

I am learning that in order to receive true freedom through CHRIST I must surrender in all areas of my life.  I am learning that when I bow to HIM and allow HIm to take control of my health, HE can, will, and does keep me healthy.  HE is telling me the most important thing I must understand today is this: "He will NEVER allow me to do it all on my own.  HE will NEVER allow me to just be "emotionally fed" without there being consequences for my health."  HE will NEVER allow me to rely on my own strength for very long.  HE will seek me EVERY single moment of my life, until I surrender."

Today I am picking up my cross once again, surrendering, and following HIM.  Today I am trusting HIM and believing HIM that HE knows what is best for me.

I pray today that if you are being "emotionally fed" you will surrender and allow yourself to be HOLY SPIRIT lead.  I pray today that HE will break you free from your stronghold when it comes to food.  I pray today that you know that HE knows and understands your struggles.  I pray today that you know that HE is the one who knows and loves you the best, and HE is waiting for you.


No comments:

Post a Comment