Tuesday, November 18, 2014
When I was a little girl, though I didn't have the words then to say what I needed, I now know I was looking for my Great Protector. Through each person that came into my life, I tested them to see if they were willing to fight for me, or if they were merely going to just use me for their own selfish gain. I should say well, that is just one side of the coin. The other side wasn't flipped until.... I received HIM as my LORD and SAVIOR, and HE began teaching me through HIS perspective and HIS vision in allowing me to see the people who hurt me, WHO they really were, and by allowing me to see them through HIS eyes.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
Hi, I'm Heather, and in case you have already figured it out, well I'm a fighter. I'm a survivor of years of abuse, manipulations, and lies, all orchestrated by the enemy, the father of lies, who has "tried" to wipe me off the face of the earth the moment my conception was made known. I can tell you that I though I am weakened right now, and in deep sorrow, I am still a fighter. Nothing has changed that, and because I am a fighter, I am growing more weary by the day, and because HE loves me, HE is meeting me right where I am to let me know that even HIS greatest fighters in HIS word, TRUSTED HIM, and sought refuge in HIM.
HIS Daily Teachings today actually began yesterday, however I was much too stubborn to hear HIM let alone SEE HIM, and how HE was setting up another support system written specifically for me in my time of need. HE was truly in the details, and HE couldn't wait to show me just how much, and how deep HE was in the details, that would ensure me that it is indeed okay to seek refuge in HIM, as HE is my GREAT PROTECTOR.
"The is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
Yesterday was Monday, the day, my hardest day.... the day where I dread its coming, as I know that here comes goodbye is coming. In knowing this HE made sure that I would be lifted in prayer specifically that I would feel comforted in knowing that HE never intended for me to relive anything. Through my beautiful soul-sister WHOM has been my prayer warrior, my watchman, WHO FAITHFULLY, DAILY enters HIS THRONE ROOM,on my behalf, as she has been called to speak HIS truth, and is being held accountable by HIM to speak only HIS truth, just as I Heather, HIS daughter, HIS servant am called to do the same. Daily she sends me prayers, and seeks to know how I am doing, and what specific prayer requests I have, after getting account of my needs, she presents them to HIM, and speaks boldly HIS promises to me, to preserve me, to hold me, to care for me, to love me, and most importantly to protect me. Her words so lovingly written, words that could have only come from HIM were:
"I can't imagine and I don't fully understand the depth of your pain, but I'm praying for you. Praying it stops being something you relive over and over and that his sweet life both on earth with you and in eternity with HIS HEAVENLY FATHER would be the focus and bring comfort somehow. GOD never meant for you to have to relive this tragedy over and over. The same way we don't have to dwell on JESUS' death on the cross because HE LIVES."
"But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet to warn the people and the sword comes and takes someone’s life, that person’s life will be taken because of their sin, but I will hold the watchman accountable for their blood." Ezekiel 33:6
"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16
My words fail me in my level of gratitude and thanks that I have to HIM for placing her so lovingly, precisely at the moment I would need to be reminded of WHO HE IS, WHAT HE HAS DONE, and WHAT HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO. I can't begin to say thank you enough to my beautiful soul-sister for intervening on my behalf when the enemy was lurking, to seek, kill, and destroy me, when I am feeling weak, weary, and so heavy with the deepest sorrow I have ever known.
Though I didn't realize it yesterday her words, HIS words were soothing to my aching soul, and today HE is showing me once again just how much HE loves me that HE would ensure that I had tangible proof that HE is my Great Protector. I wrote back to her about how I knew that one day I wouldn't have such a heavy, weary heart, and that one day I too would come along side of another grieving Mama and be HIS hands and feet for her. To that she responded:
"You have to focus on the healing GOD is doing in you right now. But you should know that GOD is using our hearts even when we don't feel like we are strong enough to be used. HIS plans are just greater and I know that even in your darkest hour HE is allowing you to be HIS hands and feet to others suffering loss. That is WHY HE gave you the blog. That's WHY HE gives you the words."
My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks, because HIM letting me know that HE is my Great Protector didn't stop there, it lasted throughout the afternoon, and into the evening as I went to my 2nd week of women's bible study. While there I shared how upset I was that for one day I felt completely free, only to be thrown back deep into the trenches, and having to fight once again to survive. I shared about how weary I have become, and how I am upset that I am so upset all of the time. How I am angry and frustrated that how I can usually bounce back from my afflictions, this time, well this time is different.
HE is letting me know that in sharing my heart last night is what has prepared me to hear what HE is wanting me to know this morning. As always HE led me straight to HIS word, and as soon as I read it, I knew HE was telling me it's time once again to get to the matters of my heart.
"Spiritually: Indeed, GOD does preserve us from experiencing some areas of pain and suffering. But when HE does allow us to b touched by evil, HE ACTS to preserve us through the pain and suffering. HE allowed JOB'S pain and suffering, but HE NEVER abandoned him." The Great Protector, Mom's Devotional Bible
"But now, ’s Message,“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.When you’re between a rock and a hard place,Because I am , your personal God, paid a huge price for you: how much you mean to me!
Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
HE is wanting me to know that today, right now, it's okay for me to rest. HE is telling me that I am safe in HIS arms, HE will protect me. I don't have to keep fighting to survive, as I have already been rescued by HIM, and that through HIM teaching, leading, and guiding me I have OVERCOME the previous tragedies in my life. HE is wanting me to know that though this is THE greatest tragedy of my life, I will survive this too, with HIM I will OVERCOME as I know, with HIS true confidence that my son is NOT dead, but is ALIVE, and living the best life, eternal life.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
I am deeply comforted in knowing that my son left our family, who loved him unconditionally, and who never had to experience hurt in his sweet precious little life. I am so incredibly thankful that he never had to fight to exist because his Mama prayed for his precious little life, and taught him about JESUS even if she didn't realize that was what she was doing. I am so incredibly thankful that my son knew nothing but love in his life, and went home to the greatest love imaginable, all because HE loved us first.
"We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19
HE is wanting me to know that because HE loves me HE wants me to know that means HE is my Great Protector. HE is wanting me to know that even though in my past I have struggled with conditional, failing, self-serving, self-seeking love and protection. HE will move MOUNTAINS to fill me with HIS love, to ensure me that is NEVER going to be the case with HIM, by filling me with HIS amazing grace, unconditional, unchanging, unfailing, unending love and I am learning this all through HIS relentless pursuit of my heart that HE captures daily and fills me with more peace, love, and security that I have ever known.
Today HE is wanting me to know that in this season of deep mourning, I need NOT to worry about fighting, but rather this is my time of rest, to rest, and seek refuge in HIM, and let HIM comfort me, and build my FAITH in HIM stronger than ever, so that when my time to run comes, I will sprint, and when HE calls me to lean in and press into my FAITH as I run through the unknown, I will leap, I will jump, as it is through my FAITH that I will see HIS goodness, and all that HE has done, is doing, and will continue to do is for HIS glory, and HIS KINGDOM.
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
"The eternal God is your , and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemies before you, saying, ‘Destroy them!’" Deuteronomy 33:27
"Sovereign , you are God! Your covenant trustworthy, and you have promised se things to your servant.: 2 Samuel 7:28
My Dear Brothers and Sisters in CHRIST JESUS, it is my prayer that you will know that if you too are in a season of deep mourning and loss, that HE is there, holding you, and wanting you to rest peacefully in HIS unchanging grace. That HE has already worked everything out for HIS good, and that when you seek HIM, you will SEE HIM and ALL that HE has done, is doing, and will continue to do for you, because HE loves you. I pray today that if you don't already know HIM, or of HIM, HE is there waiting.... for you to RECEIVE HIM into your heart so that HE can show you and prove to you just how much HE loves you. I pray today for your weak, weary, and aching souls to know that redemption is there, HE is your REDEEMER, and that through HIM, with HIS help HE you will OVERCOME. Hold fast dear ones, HE loves you, HIS help is on the way! You are about to be RESCUED!!! In fervent prayers for each of you today, to be touched by my story, that HIS amazing grace and relentless love isn't just for me, but for all of you too.
Much love, prayers, understanding, compassion, and grace,
Your Sister in CHRIST JESUS,