Monday, July 29, 2013

living by faith

Since I have become a CHRIST follower there have been many times that I have been asked, "how do you live by faith?"  Honestly I don't think I could really understand what truly living by faith meant until I decided I needed to surrender completely 74 days ago.  It wasn't until I was willing to admit that I couldn't live another moment without HIS guidance, teachings, and love, leading me through every step of my journey.

Seventy-four days ago I was completely lost.  I was getting to the end of our homeschooling year, one of which was my toughest yet.  I was now a Mama of five beautiful children, all with their own personalities and needs.  I wasn't a very good wife to D, as I was growing very impatient with him.  I wasn't a faithful follower of CHRIST JESUS as I would pray, and then I would complain that my prayers weren't being answered.  I attended church every week, and cried the entire time I was there.  I knew something had to change, only I wasn't willing to let that "something" be me.

Well as you have read in my previous blogs GOD captured my heart once again, only this time it was much more intense than ever before.  It was if though HE was saying to me, "It's time Heather, it's time that you really truly learn to live by faith in me, and TRUST me with EVERYTHING."  I wish I could say I was totally on board, but in my own humanness I resisted, I made excuses, I drug my feet, and flat out "refused" to be the one to change.  Hmmm, humble pie you ask, here you go, how about a whole pie for you dine on while I teach you about trusting me.

When I first started my bible study my heart wasn't living by faith.  I even started reading the book a week prior and promptly stated, "Hmm well GOD I think you got this one ALL wrong, I don't need this book, I don't have these issues."  It was right after that, I went through one of the worst most painful attacks on my health.  Through that attack HE brought me to my needs, and got my eyes focused on HIM, and obediently I picked up that book once again, and began to read.  Wholeheartedly I read, faithfully I read, and as I read HE began a good work in my life.

I read the book Power Thoughts in 43 days, and in those 43 days GOD totally transformed my heart in how I was to be a Wife, Mama, and CHRIST follower.  HE let me know under NO circumstances am I EVER to think that I did this on my own.  I know that by living by my faith in HIM is what transformed me. I know that through my obedience I received healing in areas I didn't even realize I was hurt.  I know that in choosing to live by faith I became who HE wants me to become.  However, I know that I am still a work in progress, as I am not perfect, and will always need HIM to teach, lead, and guide me EVERY moment of my life.

One area of my life that GOD wanted to change was my ability to declare boldly WHOSE I am.  I know that because of my past and feelings of abandonment and conditional love, I wasn't able to fully grasp who I am in "HIS" eyes.  It has been through HIS HOLY SPIRIT that HE has opened my eyes to see myself in the way that HE sees me.  In declaring WHOSE I am I know that I must never be ashamed to say WHOSE I am, and all that HE has done for me.  I must choose to live my life with faith in HIM.

I also learned the importance of understanding how amazing HIS grace truly is.  I have learned that GOD's grace is sufficient enough to meet all of my needs.  Joyce Meyer writes: "Grace is the power of the HOLY SPIRIT coming to us freely, enabling us to do with ease what we could never do on our own."  I know that without my Faith in HIM I wouldn't be where I am today.  Rory Comtois sings a song about HIS amazing grace, and how powerful HIS love and mercy is.  "Not For Grace" is a song that I hold deep in my heart, and sing it often. "Where would I be, YOU only know, I'm glad you see, through eyes of love.  A hopeless case, and empty place, if not for grace."  I can't imagine where I would be today if NOT for HIS grace.  I know that had I not opened the door to HIM 10 years in my life, I most likely would not be here. I was so ready to give up on living, as it was too painful to even think of taking another breath.  Even though I loved my children so very much, and I loved my husband, I was so hurt, in a way that I couldn't even describe.  I felt hopeless, and felt like I was nothing, and would only be nothing forever.  I am so glad that HE saw me, and loved me enough to rescue me, and save me from my own private hell I had been living in.  I know that living by my faith is the only way I can truly live.

I know that living by faith means that I must abandon any and all thoughts and "feelings" of fear.  For I know that when I live my life that is fear generated by Satan, I take his path for my life, and not GOD's path for my life.  I know that GOD's path for my life is the road that leads to complete victory.

It has been through my prayers that HE began a good work in me, when I asked HIM to teach, lead, and guide me daily, HE showed up, and showed up BIG in my life.  He asked me to "GO BIG" and began creating me in a courageous and patient heart.  I must choose to be patient in waiting for HIS timing for the blessings in my life.  I am to be patient while waiting for the storms of my life to pass, as HE's already been through them and knows the outcome.  I know that HE has already gone ahead and won the battle for me, all that is required of me is complete obedience and patience on my part, and HE can, will and does lead me to complete victory!

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:14-16

GOD is not only asking me to be patiently waiting, HE is also asking me to have a good attitude while waiting.

"Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:22-24

As I was journaling this morning these thoughts came to mind: I must NEVER say after praying, "HE is not answering my prayers."  I know that while HE may not be answering them in "my" time, HE does answer them in "HIS" time, it just may not be the way I wanted them answered.  

I know that when I do mess up and, well boy do I ever mess up.... I am thankful that HIS grace is all sufficient.  I must choose to confess all of my sins, seek HIS forgiveness, and surrender all of me and allow HIM to renew my faith and my mind.  I must never feel hopeless as HIS mercies are new EVERY morning.  

I must choose to live each day with faith and to make each day I am blessed to live count!  I must choose to live each of my day's with the goal of glorifying GOD in everything I say and do.  As my Pastor at church says, "make JESUS name FAMOUS in this world!"  

I must be obedient through my faith in HIM.  I know that living by faith I will follow HIM and do whatever HE tells me to do, whether I "feel" like it or not.

"True Faith does what GOD asks it to do."

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

Being still is one of my biggest struggles, as I grow impatient very quickly.  I am thankful that GOD knows me well enough to create in me a patient heart.  I know that at every opportunity HE allows my patience to be tested.  I know that until I surrender completely and follow HIS commands with complete obedience I will not be able to obtain total patience.

I can say with complete confidence that I am living proof of how GOD will give you the strength you need to get through anything. 

 "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

I know that living by my faith is the only thing that is truly good and pleasing to GOD.  I must NOT let fear lead me, as it is NOT the truth. I know that only GOD's word is the truth!  

"Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them." Jeremiah 1:17

I know that I can't do anything without HIS help, and that HE will give me all the courage that I need to be completely obedient and truly live by my faith.  Today's decision and confession is: I will be courageous and not let emotions of fear control me.

I pray today that you aren't living by faith that you will seek HIM to lead you through your life.  I pray for you to be given an obedient heart, a heart that is full of desire to do what is good and pleasing to HIM.  I pray today that you will receive HIS love and grace in your life, so HE can begin a good work in you.  I pray today is the day you will choose to live by faith.



No comments:

Post a Comment